We hear so much about how it IS possible to establish yourself as an expert online, yet so many women seem to be waiting for permission.
What’s really holding these women back and how can they break through the self-imposed (or actual) barriers?
How to be credible when you’ve only just started out and don’t have any “proof” yet to back you up (testimonials, etc.)?
When I was asked these questions on my Facebook page, I knew I had to reach out to other successful business women to get the answer.
Last week you head from Kristen Kalp, Anna Kunnecke, Kendrick Shope, and Navjit Kandola. Today I’m sharing the amazing insights from Laura Roeder, Susan Hyatt, and Amy Pearson.
The number one thing that holds women back from establishing themselves as experts is this idea that fame is something that’s granted, not created. It’s the idea that the people who are famous sat quietly in their office or home without making a peep and that fame and recognition came along because their work was somehow “discovered.”
We all have an idea of what success looks like, and the public figures or maybe even friends or acquaintances who have made it. What we never hear about, however, are the networking events those people went to, the connections they made, the favors they asked, the contests they entered. People wait for “permission” because they think that’s how the world works, but it isn’t. Women especially, because we’re socialized to believe that being bold and asking for what we want isn’t ladylike.
It can be especially difficult when you’re just starting out to assert yourself as an expert without that “proof” of testimonials from others. We seem to think that we need other people to confirm our value, and that can be a real roadblock for a lot of people.
How can you get over that roadblock? Be your own testimonial. Tweet that!
Prove that you know about your industry by talking about what you know in your blog or your newsletter. Be consistent and helpful to your potential readers; once people get to where they’re thanking you for your knowledge share, they’re just another step away from becoming your client and a future testimonial.
Laura Roeder is really, REALLY into Creating Fame.
I believe that the number one indicator of whether or not a budding entrepreneur will be successful is their willingness to take risks. And by risk, I am talking about risking the EGO. To stand out and make it online, you have to be willing to show people who you are, what you stand for, and fly that freak flag. Tweet that!
Even (especially) if it means that you “come out of the closet” about your beliefs, goals and vision. Waiting for permission is just not part of the equation. In fact, it kills business and blocks abundance.
What’s really holding women back is their beliefs about who they are as an expert in their field, what is possible for them in business, and the illusion that they need to wait for more information, more time, more money, or more experience to rock out their thing.
The way to break through this?
1. Get real and get honest with yourself. Own whatever mind crack (negative thinking) that you are spinning and get to work creating mind fuel (positive and empowering thoughts) that serve your mission.
2. Challenge yourself to DO something. Publish a blog, talk to 3 people today about your business and why you are excited, click send on an email asking for something, create your first video….but get out there. What you REALLY need to learn and know will come to you on the path of action. Not hiding.
3. Ask for help. If there’s something you need, ask. Hire or barter the help you need.
It’s easy to be credible when you are passionate about your business. Customers are looking for energy as much as they are looking for experience. That being said, go create the proof. Offer your services for free to clients who will talk about it. Give them a sample and ask if you can publish their “review” of the experience.
When I was a brand new coach, I coached 10 people for free for 6-8 weeks. It gave me real experience, created word of mouth referrals, and I received many amazing testimonials for my website.
Susan Hyatt is a Master Certified Life Coach, author of Create Your Own Luck: 7 Steps To Get Your Lucky On, motivational speaker and the creator of a soon to be released life design web show, Life Is Delicious TV. She’s crazy passionate about helping clients kick the rat race to the curb and get what they want in life, business and body love.
I think it’s fear that holds so many women back. And I’ve found in my work, that most fears, if you do enough digging, point to some form of fear of social exclusion. So for example:
- I don’t want to say that in my newsletter (because some people may take offense).
- I don’t want to launch that new program (because some people will say, “who does she think she is?”).
- I don’t want to put out my shingle because I don’t have enough letters next to my name (what will some people say?).
And so they convince themselves that they’re just too busy, or get wrapped up in other less meaningful work projects. But let’s get real, it’s really a form of hiding.
So you reject yourself as a misguided form of “self defense.” But the thing you’re “defending” yourself against hasn’t even happened nor will you ever find out if it would happen. You reject yourself, then, out of fear of the possibility of rejection. And the saddest part about it is, there’s always going to be a percentage of the population that is NOT going to be in to you — no matter what you do. Whether you do the thing or not. If this is the case, seems like a no brainer, that we have to do the things that get us to where we want to be. Some people will judge, regardless.
My mantra is this: I will never reject myself out of fear of rejection. Tweet that!
The simple way to be credible, to be trustworthy, is to tell the truth. Stop trying to be more than you are. Stop trying to “be better” than you are in your business by projecting a facade of competence. It reeks of apology energy and your potential customer can smell it a mile a way.
Credibility doesn’t happen overnight. It’s not a quick fix. You have to be willing to form a relationship with your followers by being willing to share yourself. Be willing to be vulnerable. Be willing to tell the truth. This is the foundation for true intimacy in relationships and it is no different with your clients. And especially over the internet where we don’t have the luxury of face to face or a handshake, real connection is harder and harder to establish. Which is why honestly, vulnerability and the willingness to be yourself, no apologies, is truly your gold when it comes to credibility and trust.
Amy Pearson of LiveBrazen.com is a master life coach and former approval addict (with the occasional relapse) who is now addicted to success.
Now, I want to hear from you!
What do you think holds women (or yourself) back from establishing themselves as experts online?
Have you ever been stuck in that spot?
Which of the answers above most resonate with you?
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts in the comments below!