“My Assistant Made a Mistake!” How to Give Feedback to Your Assistant Without Sounding Like a You-Know-What

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Excitement abounded when I shared my tips for getting your assistant to run your business for you. I was thrilled at your enthusiasm, superhero.

After that post went live, I received several emails from you saying that you’re ready to take delegation seriously. I also got questions like “How do I give my assistant feedback when she makes a mistake, without sounding like a you-know-what?”

You can give feedback when something doesn’t go like you want it to. In fact, it’s your job to give feedback, even if it makes you a little uncomfortable.

In today’s video, you’ll learn the four critical components to giving good feedback, so you can get your point across without destroying the relationship you have with your assistant.

I also share a sample script of exactly what to say to your assistant when she makes a mistake.

You’ll also learn that giving feedback can actually strengthen the relationship you have with your assistant.

Don’t miss the ending on this video. I’m not dancing with my dog like I was in a previous video, but I think this one will make you smile just the same.

Prefer to read? Here’s the transcript…

It’s awesome to have an assistant on your team and you know how much it really helps to keep your business moving and to keep you not working ridiculous hours.

But everyone needs feedback. Not everyone does a perfect job all the time. And it’s your job as the entrepreneur, the one paying your assistant, to make sure to give her feedback in a constructive and timely fashion when she doesn’t do things exactly like you want.

So let’s dive in.

Click to TweetDid your assistant mess up? Make sure your feedback has these 4 critical components.

4 Critical Components to Giving Feedback

1. Make it specific, detailed, and technical.

The first critical component to giving feedback is to give very specific, detailed and technical feedback to your assistant on exactly what she did wrong.

Assistants aren’t mind readers just like you aren’t, either. And so, the more specific you can get with your feedback, the more she can make sure she does a perfect job for you.

2. Give your assistant an “out.”

The second critical component is to give your assistant an out that possibly you didn’t explain it correctly in the first place. Communication is a two-way street, as the saying goes, and it’s equally likely that you didn’t explain it well, as it is that she didn’t understand it correctly or execute it correctly.

So let her know that you’re not saying, “You didn’t do it right!,” you know, because likely you didn’t explain it right. Who knows? But either way, just letting her know that you’re not putting all the blame on her is going to ease the feedback and she’s going to be able to hear it a whole lot more easily.

3. Sandwich the bad in the good.

The third critical component is to not just give negative feedback and nothing good at the same time. In the corporate world, we called this the sandwich technique. I actually think it’s really cheesy, but it’s highly effective. It means tell her something nice, give her the feedback, then tell her something nice again. You sandwich the negative feedback in between the positive.

It can be simply something like, “Hey, I hope you’re having a good day. I noticed this email didn’t get sent at the time I wanted it to. Could you instead send it and blah, blah, blah… [We’ll talk about that in a second.] I hope you have a great rest of your day and let me know if you have any questions.” Really simple, but it lets, it makes the email be not just about the negative stuff.

4. Give more positive than constructive feedback.

The fourth critical component to giving feedback is to give equal or even more amount of positive feedback than you do constructive feedback. There’s a book about marriage by a guy named John Gottman and he talks about the ratio of positive to negative interactions between a couple. I’m sure it’s not exactly the same when it comes to you and your assistant, but the idea is very similar.

You want to make sure that you’re constantly giving your assistant feedback on what she’s doing right. Let her know every time she does a good job. Not only will it boost her self-esteem, but when you tell her that one thing that she doesn’t do right, it’s not going to come as such a hard blow because she hears from you all the time. She doesn’t just hear from you when it’s negative. So you want to make sure to balance the good and the constructive feedback.

Click to TweetFollow this script to give constructive feedback to your assistant—without sounding like a total b&%#$!

Sample Script for Giving Feedback to Your Assistant

As I said in the beginning, I’m going to give you a sample script that you can use exactly with your assistant. So let’s get into that sample script right now.

Hey, Rockstar assistant!
[Of course, you’re going to use her name]

I hope your day is going well.
[That’s the first piece of bread in the sandwich.]

I noticed on that email you sent to my client that you forgot to mention X and instead mentioned Y.
[You’re being very specific about exactly where she didn’t do it right.]

For the clients where this ABC situation is true, I’d like Y to be mentioned and not X to be mentioned at all.
[So not only are you reiterating what went wrong, but you’re also telling her more information to make sure she gets it right the next time.]

Here is the really good reason I have for wanting this.
[And then last, if you have a good reason for wanting this, it’s great to tell her. It just keeps her in the loop, makes her interested in your business. And it’s not sounding like you’re just asking for something random, that there’s a true legitimate reason behind the request.]

If you have any questions or you’re not sure what I mean, please ask. I want to make sure you’re clear on what I’m looking for.
[And then you want to let her know that you’re open to feedback if she doesn’t understand what you’re explaining, and that she can ask. And you want to make sure that she’s clear what you’re looking for. And then finish it off with the other piece of the bread in the sandwich.]

Thanks for the work you’ve been doing lately. I can’t believe that you saved me five hours last week on this terrible task. And you always do so awesomely for me. Thank you!
~ Superhero entrepreneur.
[Of course, you want to be specific with exactly what she did. And for the sake of this, I’m just having a little bit fun.]

There you have it.

That’s exactly how to give feedback without sounding like a you-know-what.

Click to Download7 Steps to Make It Work Online

Over to You

In the comments below, I want to hear from you. Tell me…

1. What is one insight you had from this video?

2. What are your tried and true tips for giving feedback?

Thanks for watching. If you like this video, please share it with your friends!

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