I got this question from a client and thought we could stir up some spicy conversation here today. I’ll share my thoughts, and I can’t wait to hear yours.
“I definitely need to keep/stay focused. I am easily distracted with all my emails and social media nonsense. I’m not consistent and work “when I feel like it” – which isn’t a good way to get things done. If you have any words of wisdom for actually sitting down to create and work, I’m all ears. It’s definitely my achilles heel.”
Mixed Messages
Oh, the opinions people have about this subject.
“Do only what feels good.”
And it’s opposite:
“Put yourself on a 9-5 schedule just like you’re working a job.”
Really? How are you supposed to navigate this dilemma with polar opposite advice like that?
Exactly.
That’s why I prefer a more balanced approach and some practical techniques. (Are you surprised?) Here’s what I told my client.
The Secrets to Working When You Want AND Staying Focused
You can both work when you want AND stay focused… sort of. Here’s how I find my balance.
Step 1. Notice Resistance
Sometimes resistance to working isn’t about the work. It’s about the fear of being more visible, taking risks, or going bigger in business. Not wanting to work can be your mind’s way of playing it safe.
If you don’t feel like working, see if it’s resistance’s way of protecting you.
If it is, acknowledge it. Resistance is part of life and business. It happens, but it doesn’t have to completely stop you from moving forward.
Whether resistance is the culprit or not, the next step is to look at your values.
Step 2. Consider Your Values
When you’re facing the focus-versus-feeling dilemma, check in with your values, meaning what’s important to you.
Which takes priority: not working now because you don’t feel like it or reaching your long term goals?
Do you want to play it safe in this moment or support yourself financially in the long run?
Does that push your buttons? Good! It’s important to notice that the struggle you’re feeling is asking you to look deeper into what you want most.
Maybe playing it save versus supporting yourself financially isn’t your current conundrum. That’s fine. Notice your inner values conflict and see if you can sort them out.
You may decide that taking care of yourself right now by not working is the best move. Or, you may be willing to move through the resistance to focus on the tasks at hand.
If you decide to move forward and need some incentive, I strongly recommend bribery.
Step 3. Use Bribery
When I’m struggling to do something I know will catapult my business forward, I’ll find a juicy reward to help me get it done. I strongly recommend you use bribery, too.
Last fall I made a big list-building push and for each guest post I wrote, I rewarded myself with a piece of new clothing. (I had been on a tight budget for so long that I really needed some non-holey jeans and sweaters.) Clothes were the perfect reward because I knew that each guest post brought in a new client, meaning I could afford the new item, plus clothes had been something I hadn’t been willing to splurge on for quite some time.
Choose a reward commensurate with the task at hand. Maybe it’s a truffle from your favorite chocolatier or a sweater from that cute new boutique. If it feels like a little splurge and gets you working, perfect!
Finding the Balance
I choose to honor both working when I feel like it and focusing on what I want to achieve. This means some days I work 2 hours and other days I work 8. Some days I goof off and some days I’m hyper-focused.
If you’re feeling the push-pull of working when you want versus staying focused, you’re not alone. People who yearn for the freedom of entrepreneurship are often drawn to the idea of working when they want to. And, working only when you want to can leave your dreams as only dreams.
Next time you’re stuck, steal a page from my book: notice resistance, consider your values, and use bribery when needed. Tweet that!
With these tools in your toolbox, you’ll navigate your right path correctly every time.
Your Turn
I started this article knowing that everyone has their on take on the focus-versus-feeling dilemma. I’d love to hear your thoughts. I know we can each improve our own approach by learning from each other.
In the comments below, tell me …
Do you struggle with these two seemingly opposite points of view?
How you navigate focus-versus-feeling?
Do you have any advice that may help others facing this dilemma?
I can’t wait to hear your experiences and ideas so we can all learn from them. Thanks in advance for sharing!
Thanks Jenny! I struggle with this doubly because I am a graduate student as well as party plan diva. I am obviously attracted to both career paths because I enjoy being on my own schedule but I have yet to figure out a schedule I can use to navigate through the focus-versus-feeling dilemma. I think the problem in my case is that each type of work requires a different balance of focus and feeling and I haven’t quite got them all figured out. Here is what I’ve figured out so far:
1. I never feel like focusing when I know something is disorganized. I have taken to getting up and organizing or cleaning things when I realize that my last few minutes of “reading” or “grading” or “writing” has actually been daydreaming. This strategy works very well for my graduate work but not so well for my party plan business because what every party plan diva seems to have trouble focusing on is making the calls to get the parties. We usually leave ourselves a window where it would be ideal to reach our potential hosts or customers and if we procrastinate through that window, it is too late to call.
2. Lists are good. I have found that if I have a clear task when I do feel like focusing, I get more done and am less likely to lose focus. A prioritized list is important otherwise the feeling or overwhelmed takes over and the focus is out the window. My one track mind is much better at focusing than my multi-tasking mind.
3. Hide my computer from sight. Since my computer is usually my source of procrastination (including what I’m doing now as well as twitter, facebook, newsletter-writing, etc) I find that if I don’t pick up my computer or see it sitting beside me I have a much easier time focusing on the task at hand.
4. My day will start whenever it starts. Until very recently, I would try to get focused in the morning and if I struggled with it long enough, it seemed like the day was over already at 1pm if I hadn’t got anything done yet. I would think to myself, “I’ll get it done tomorrow morning,” and do something else. For the last few days, my work-day has actually begun at around 1pm and I have been very productive then. I realized that the day starts when it starts and it doesn’t end when the morning is gone.
While I’m sure I have been conflating the need for a focus-feel balance with the need for a school-work-life balance, I think parsing it out is something many will need to do. Often, when we don’t feel like working on what we think we ought to be doing, it is because we also think we should be doing something else.
Thanks again Jenny,
Shari
Do you struggle with these two seemingly opposite points of view?
How you navigate focus-versus-feeling?
Do you have any advice that may help others facing this dilemma?
You’ve certainly been working on this one, Shari, that’s clear. You’ve set yourself up with some clear tactics and approaches and that’s fantastic.
The first one is a great one–it’s like you catch yourself not focusing but have a great fix for it. It takes some introspection and reflection to find the perfect fix for you. Nice work!
I definitely resonate with the others, too. Lists totally help me and hiding my computer does, too. (or for me, it’s often going to a coffee shop and being disconnected from the internet to work).
Thanks for sharing all of your ideas and lessons here. I know others will benefit a lot from what you’ve learned. Thank you!
I’m a master at procratainating, so when I only do what I feel like when I feel like it, nothing gets done. I need to find a perfect in-between, since there are days I can’t work due to chronic pain.
That was supposed to say “procrastinating”, stupid keyboard.
Jenny,
Ah…the joy of the mixed message. They’re everywhere! I think that it’s always about finding what works for you personally, but I do think that there are also some human psychological and behavioral principals that will always be in play.
For me and for my clients I have found that removing the guess work as much as possible is a really great starting place. For example, I work at the same time in the same way early every morning. Now what I’m working on does change, but how I work stays the same. Once I locked in that habit I could feel some of the strife and questions go away because I know I’m going to be sitting my butt down in front of my computer every morning, same time, same place.
In my opinion and experience the resistance and questions about what to work on come from always changing things up. We’re human and we like routine. My best advice would be get into a routine that works for you, take as much guess work out as possible, then if you are having a really crummy morning or just can’t get motivated use some of the techniques you listed above to evaluate what you’re working on.
Thanks Jenny for your great stuff. Have a wonderful day!
xo~sg
Steph!! You are so spot on. I love this!!
I have heard others talk about “non-negotiables,” meaning set yourself up to make as few decisions as possible. I do that on a task basis but not so much on a schedule basis. I love how you bring in that element. Genius!
You are totally right about routine, too. Such creatures of habit we are.
Love these smarty pants ideas! Thanks for sharing this here.
I love the “take the guesswork out”! I do this by keeping a master to do list. I just put everything on it as I think of it just adding to the bottom. When I feel myself stalling and “don’t know what to do first” I start at the top and pick something, something I can do (eg. it doesn’t require resources that I don’t have access to right then). I always amaze myself at how much I can get done that way.
I have insomnia, so this is a big one for me.
Right now the way I’m handling it is that I always do at least one business thing each day. Often, when I start my one thing I get really into it and focused and end up putting in a full day. Some days I am tired and have trouble finishing my one thing, and on those days I don’t push.
One task at a time is a great way to get going. Respecting your body and your limits (when they’re real, in your case!) is a smart way to go!
Great advice Jenny, the one about focusing on your long term goal really struck a cord, in fact, it’s going to be one of my ” printables” what works for me is to keep the best advice right in front of my eyes. thanks.
Great post, Jenny! I’m definitely between both, and your tips are very helpful today:)
Jenny,
Great post and reminder that it isn’t about what is easy and that stepping out of our comfort zones (resistance) is vital to productivity.
Also love the bribery idea! Have actually implemented that reward system with my accountability partner so that we both push each other further with our daily business tactics.
Thanks for the reminders!
Lisa
Nice to see you here, Lisa!
I read something in a magazine the other day about bribery with accountability buddies (it was in reference to exercise) and the article said that the combo was rather effective.
It also said something I hadn’t thought about before–punishment! Everyone sets their goals for the week (in this case it was exercising x times per week) and the person who didn’t meet their goal had to buy dinner for the group on Friday night. Got me thinking more about the value of accountability and helping our friends reach their goals, too (with a treat or punishment, whatever works best).
Thanks for chiming in here!
I love this post! It is one topic that I have had many conversations about with me. This approach is working for me: Calendar “days off” each week ( I love being off on Fridays…TGIF! ) and Sundays ( its floating in the pool day). Essentially, I bribe myself in advance.
I schedule work to end, no fooling by 6:00 pm on Monday – Thursday ( no email -nada)
With the above structure, I am working when I say I am working with plenty of time to goof off which is the best time to be creative.
Do I always keep my schedule? H…no, and I notice when I don’t and see what happened that had me ignore it.
Your tips about looking at resistance comes in handy for me.
Thank you as always for your tips…they are priceless.
xo
Susan
I love seeing you here, Susan!! I love that you stick to a solid schedule of work and fun. Thanks for sharing that here. I know when I’m diligent about a schedule like that (days off + ending time), it definitely helps me stay focused when I work and feel great when I don’t work.
Thanks for sharing that here!
LOVE the way you tie the values piece in Jenny! You’re absolutely right – when we remember WHY we’re doing what we do, there is a balance between living in the now and lovingly putting the hours in toward a creation in the “future now”!
On my journey, I’ve teetered from a rigid schedule with alarms going off every couple of hours to remind me of my focus, to completely approaching it intuitively and working however I feel at the start of each day. After all of this experimentation, I’m finally feeling more “in the flow” with my workday, which is, as you say, a balance between the 2 spectrums.
The biggest help to me has been to stay completely OUT of email (business and personal) before lunch time so that the beginning of my day is focused on writing, creating, or big picture strategizing. This was no easy feat at first (especially with my iPhone beckoning me) but I’ve found that once I got it down, I was able to “dip into” email twice a day (and handle the most important things!) rather than getting sucked into managing it all day long.
I’ve also unsubscribed to a lot of newsletters recognizing that my own sanity and self-care was important for me to take action on (and that the information I need to find will always be there when I choose to find it). This was tough for me to do quite honestly as I know how important it is for everyone to grow their list – so I had to release the guilt I felt when unsubscribing.
One area of resistance that I keep running into is doing the ground work toward building my new website, as it’s been quite tedious going through the past year’s blog posts to optimize them for SEO. So for THAT project I’ve honestly found that putting it off until teh evening, having a glass of wine, and getting a movie running in the background helps me get through it!
Sounds like you’ve really figured this out for yourself, Sabrina. Love it! Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences here.
The best part is that you’ve swung the pendulum pretty far in both directions and found the happy middle ground for you. That certainly takes patience and persistence. Nice work!
Yay for unsubscribing! I do that, too. I make sure that the newsletters I receive are the ones I love and provide me with regular value.
Oh! And SEO. I struggled with that same one, going back to old posts and updating the SEO text. Then after 2 years of fighting with it, I said f* it! And just decided not to bother. Totally let myself off the hook. It’s okay to do that, too 🙂
I hear you both! I tend to do most of my “work” at night after the babe is asleep. Then I can sit and plant my butt without having to stop every 5 seconds! @Sabrina I love the downtime before work time! And I feel your pain with optimization. I’m in the middle of optimizing my description copy, then I have to migrate all of my blog posts and label them…*cringe* I know it won’t really take all that long if I just sit and do it though.
@Jenny I know I tend to prefer to do than not do more often than not, but I have at the least let a few things go to the “maybe,someday” pile rather than stressing about them! = liberating!
I’m all for the bribery Jenny. It helps me stay on track, and when I reward myself upon completion, I feel like I am reinforcing the cycle in my brain: Decide what to do, plan it, take action, see it through, REWARD myself 🙂
I also find accountability partnerships or accountability coaching beneficial. Putting it out there with someone else, and being accountable to that person makes me more driven and committed to seeing something though fully and on time
I’m better when I put structure on my day & week, so Friday afternoons are for planning the following week. Everything has to be scheduled and I try to stay committed to it.
Great ones, Joanna!
* Decide, plan, act, follow-through, reward!
* Accountability from others
* Structures to the days and weeks
Thanks for sharing those here. I love how you all have found your secret sauce–and are so willing to share them for others to learn from!
Once upon a time (before I had a baby) I had a rigid schedule. Anyone who knows me though would raise a serious eyebrow at that. I’m a bit of an “all over the place, free-thinker” with my Aquarius Moon. So too much structure is confining for me and halts any productivity. But really this liking of a rigid schedule is something that is learned, rather than natural. It worked for a time, but I still would slack off. Easy to do when you plan your day down to the minute from 6 am to midnight and are easily distracted…one things goes off kilter and the whole schedule seems to fall apart. Despite that it worked more often than not….then came baby and it all went in the handbasket.
For one, having a child, juggling 2 businesses and various side projects that all inter-relate, and of course having my obligations at home lead to one big, mondo important lesson. PATIENCE. With myself, with others, with my needs, their needs, work, etc. My mantra: The work will get done. (Its just a matter of when).
As an intuitive & an artist I tend more towards feeling. I totally agree that you should listen when your feelings are shouting at you, “I don’t wanna!” I would also say to really sit with this feeling. WHERE is it located? (Is it merely a mental construct? Does it have a physical place in your body? Is it emotional? Or something more?) Before you dismiss, condemn, or even try to work through it – take time to understand it – as you mention above. From my work I find that just trying to bluster through something is often the wrong idea. If you feel/act a certain way there is some sort of reason attached to it – whether its your body telling you its not right for you or whether its just something you need to wait on or that your focus needs to be elsewhere.
As a spiritual & healer I know that routine makes us feel safe. When we have those little rituals of doing things a certain way or at a certain time it comforts us. (Ever notice how children want to watch the SAME movies over and over…that’s that at an early age.) It also helps take out the guesswork, sometimes we work better when we don’t sit and think of every little detail (something helpful in critical thinking and some problem solving).
I tend to oscillate. In the last three days I feel like I haven’t done squat. But that’s just me being hypercritical of myself. I’ve drafted two fan fics, did some major editing on an image to use as a character reference, edited and uploaded to one of my sites, shared it all over my social media (I was that excited since I haven’t written in awhile), started brainstorming other writing tasks I need to get done, read and finished one novel, started another (I’ve got a series of 5 to catch up on so I can start the new release when it comes out!), I’ve done several bouts of laundry, caught up on dishes, and even did some errands – dropping off at the library, paying a fine, hitting up the post office to ship a custom order. Then last night I did a whopping… 5 hours of straight copywriting, fixing a technical problem I was having and getting a jump on that huge task of fixing all my store’s description copy. So that’s what works for me, a sliding scale day to day.
Woot! Loving the coaching you threw in there, Aradia! I’ll just say a big resounding YES to paragraph three. Everyone should read that! (I do that, too, but that stuff isn’t what I generally talk about here.)
And three cheers to giving yourself credit on all that you’ve done–many of us are not very good at that. Nice work!
😀 I could definitely hear it in what you’ve said, and in what others, especially Steph said. Its a great holistic business integration I think 😀 Glad my chattiness has worth this morning lol!
Can I say how much I am LOVING these detailed, thought-out, helpful, insightful, generous comments?! You all ROCK!!