Last week I was struggling, feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place and clueless about how to handle it.
I called a friend to ask for advice. And as all good friends who have solid life coaching skills, she saw through my mess and helped me see through it, too.
It wasn’t until the next morning that it really clicked. And the moment it did, I picked up my phone and shot this video. I knew that if I waited any longer, scripted it, or tried to turn it into a step-by-step process, I’d lose the heart of the message.
This kitchen confessional is from me to you, make-up free, in the raw, and at an awful angle.
If you ever find yourself working just out of habit versus working to reach a goal, this one’s for you.
Once you’ve watched it, I’d love to hear from you.
Can you relate? (I know not everyone will, and I’m especially interested in hearing from you!)
Do you see places in your business where you need to “just stop”?
What similar experiences have you had?
Please share it all in the comments below. I can’t wait to read what you’ve got!
It’s simple — you rock. Always love your messages, this one, in particular, was right on. <3
Thank you, Marissa!
Lovely post, Jenny. Thank you.
My own ‘re-set’ moment happened four weeks ago with the death of my father. As soon as I got the call, there was no doubt about what I had to do.
Go home. Be with my family. Grieve.
So I cancelled everything, packed a bag for a couple of weeks and headed north with my dog.
And what I discovered about my business was, it doesn’t need me to be on it 24/7 – not at all. In fact I received more enquiries than I’d had in a while, just during that two week period.
I hope you had a great hike – and thank you for such a resonant post.
Sandra
Sorry to hear about the loss of your father, Sandra. So happy to hear you learned a very valuable lesson about business!
Thanks Jenny. This was timely for me as I’m also booked out into the new year – mid-March already and of course as soon as I found myself solidly booked out, I keep getting consult requests for people who “need me right now”. I’ve been feeling guilty and thinking about how I could fit them in (I can’t!), but really need to take a step back and realize I’ve made it. Time to just be cool and thankful for what is and remember that if they still need me in March, they can hire me then. (I also don’t feel right taking deposits) Thanks for this!!
I know that feeling, Heather. Good ‘ol guilt! We gotta drop it like it’s hot, but it sure can be a challenge 🙂 Congrats to you on the big success you’ve created for yourself this year. You’ve really gone for it, and it’s been inspiring to watch!
LOVE this video for a couple reasons. 1. You have so much courage to do a video like this when you are not polished or particularly witty – you are just being yourself and I find it very inspiring. 2. It’s great to know everyone has “off” Days even when you’ve made it. 3. I’m working on my own reset now, learning to enjoy work and not always be in serious mode when working. The story of the company Mindvalley was the catalyst for theshift. Thanks for the great post, you are really quite amazing!
Thank you so much for these comments, Rose. Your reason #2 was my main driver for posting this. I was really scared to make it live because I like polished! But I know that if I only show you all my polished side, you’ll never give yourselves permission to be real, fail, or have a bad day! And polished isn’t real anyway (more on that next week!).
Jenny, I am so happy and excited for you that you have come to this place after all your hard work that you have made it! I believe a celebration is in order. Do something wonderful for yourself!
I love that you shot this video without makeup. You came to us as yourself and you are beautiful with and without makeup.
I am not anywhere near this place. I am just starting my business and I look forward to the day when I can say that I have made it. 🙂 I have been turning my wheels and have been so stressed out and overwhelmed thinking about, planning, and taking baby steps on my business and since Monday I have had the feeling that I need to just slow down a bit and let things happen a little more organically.
I’ve been thinking about and brainstorming content for my blog, e-products, social media, stats, followers, etc., and it is making me so stressed out that I’m not even enjoying it anymore. I wrote about this in my journal Monday morning. A little later that day a woman in my Master Mind group posted an article from Zen Habits: http://zenhabits.net/startup/ and then later that same day I happened to read the newsletter from BlogHer, which I usually don’t, and I came across an article on advice for new(ish) bloggers. Both articles talk about not worrying about stats and doing all the things you are “supposed” to do.
The focus on both was to be yourself, write from your heart, and provide excellent content. Thank you, Universe!!! 🙂
Just thought I’d let you know where I am as someone who is not even close to making it. But also knowing that when I do make it, I am the type that will keep going and going, even when, like your wise friend suggested to you, it is time to stop and enjoy it.
Kim, have you been sneaking into my mastermind group calls where my friends are telling me to celebrate more?! 🙂
Good for you for keeping at it. Determination is one of the key factors to making it! At the same time, remember why you created this business. It’s different for different women here: to be with their kids more, to travel, to have an exciting life, etc. Whatever your reason is, make time for it NOW. Write a blog post then go for a hike. Work with clients for a day then go to a happy hour with friends. Take time now to create the life you want by being a business owner, and it’s amazing how things will feel easier and finally start to fall into place. (And of course, keep reading here!) You’ll get there!
Loved this! As a newbie, at first, I thought, “but this doesn’t apply to me, surely..?”
– but then, as you pointed out, it’s actually ENORMOUSLY important when you’re new. There’s SO MUCH to do, that it feels hard to *ever stop and feel like you’ve achieved at this early stage.
I promise now to keep an eye out for it! Thank you!
You got it, Marsha!
That’s so fantastic to see you’ve reached this point Jenny. I’m just starting out in many ways so this is very inspiring, and I love that you just did a little off the cuff video to share your lightbulb moment ~ I’m learning about how to do video now and it’s freaking me out! So I love to see something so real and ‘unpolished’; it felt like having a little chat with a friend and I love that.
Unpolished is a-okay! I remember how long I deliberated about video before I went for it. Here’s my very first one. It’s okay to just go for it before you feel totally totally ready! https://jennyshih.com/2012/02/how-to-stop-fear-and-perfectionism-from-holding-you-back/
Hi Jenny, I just want to tell you it is okay to allow yourself a break. As an artist one of the most spectacular things to do is take a hike with your dog. Nature will clear your mind and renew and refresh you. You are such a wonderful person, generous with your information and very solid. I can see you have alot of compassion. This past week I too learned something new about myself. I have been stressing so much about getting my business started and also always about pleasing and taking care of others that I forgot to take care of me. Well I developed a bad case of shingles which made me think what I am doing to myself. I stopped and re-evaluated my life. I cannot be doing everything as much as I want to. It’s sad that we have to reach a breaking point to realize this. Have fun on your hike. Hugs, Barb
Oh my goodness, Barbara! So sorry to hear about your shingles. That’s no fun at all!! I’m sorry it took shingles for you to take care of yourself, but on the flip side, I’d bet you’ll be a self-care maven here on out! Take care of yourself and I hope you heal fast!
It’s so funny that you’d talk about this today, as I’ve been going through my own version of a ‘just stop’ moment lately, and because of that, I’m making lots of changes to my business to accomodate where I’m at now & how I want to move forward.
Since I started my business, I had let it really take over my life and I wasn’t taking care of myself. But in this last month I’ve been taking time out for me, being (more) firm about cutoff times for work, and taking weekends off. (Okay, I faltered alittle on this yesterday, but I say I’m a work in progress 🙂 I love my work but I want to run my business, not have it run me.
I’ll also say that when I stopped ‘trying’ on social media, it just started to work. I don’t know why, but it’s working and it’s a much more pleasurable experience.
Such a great story, Candace! There is definitely something to the “trying hard” energy that often prevents things from working! Imagine if we did it all with a little more ease…. 🙂 (I’m playing with this more and more lately, wondering where it will all take me.)
Very Brave to post Jenny and certainly more effective because it was so ‘raw’ and from the heart. I find that balance is always the hardest to maintain in life. I have the opposite problem as I love nature so much and love to be outside hiking, biking, kayaking etc; I have to rein myself in and focus on my work.
If I could I’d have my jewelry bench outside under the trees- I’d probably get more work done! Hope the walk was beneficial, Meg
We all have one way we swing, Meg, and it sounds like Lara’s comment below might help you? If you were to reward yourself with nature time for work, would that help?
I have no problem working, so it doesn’t work for me to have to earn relaxing time. My trick is getting myself to do it!
Thank you Jenny! Fantastic insights-hope you had a great hike with your dog!
Great hike — always! And another one today, too 🙂
Big aha moment there for me! Yes, I am seriously guilty of working out of habit to the nth degree. At a pointing my biz when most things are on autopilot and I don’t have to work so hard to make sales, I am struggling to stop looking for problems to solve in the biz. Sometimes I find myself sitting in front of the computer with nothing to do but I can’t peel myself away because I’m so used to having to be there.
You are such a role model for setting your business up to run without you, Margarita! I was so impressed by everything you did to prepare yourself for having Joshua. You did it all! And certainly deserve all the free time you’ve created. … once you start building your new house… and get that garden going… what was next on the list? Homeschool your kids? You’re making it happen for yourself, my friend!
That was so beautiful. You’re awesome and I love your message in the video. Most of the time I miss my “made it” moments and rather than celebrate or take note, I get stressed about the next step.
I relate! That’s why it’s good to have friends and a mastermind group to remind me. Do you have people in your life who you can ask to keep you in check to celebrate your moments of success?
Great post- thank you for sharing! I absolutely agree that if you are not achieving balance in your own life you may not be able to optimally help your clients. You absolutely have reached a place where many strive to be- congratulations! Definitely time to give yourself some space to regenerate and rejuvenate. Enjoy your hike and hopefully many more to follow!
Thanks, Stephanie! I actually went for another hike this morning (hence the late comment replies!). It felt like the right way to honor today’s video post.
Awesome! Thank you so much for this, Jenny 🙂 I am JUST starting to keep track of those “habits” that I take action on everyday that make me feel good and which ensure that I’m in balance with everything… THEN… I’m assigning points to these habits, tallying up the points at the end of the day/the week and then giving my Self REWARDS! It’s a new system that I’m testing out recommended by one of my coaches (Kristin Sweeting Morelli). It’s great because it’s focusing on the great actions that I’m taking and then I’m practicing now actually giving my Self rewards or TIME to get off the computer and do something different/fun/new… or just take a bath or watch a good movie 🙂 … Sending Love! <3
Interesting idea, Lara! This might be helpful for folks like Meg above who need a little oomph to work a bit more. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Jenny. This was just what I needed to hear this morning. Your video was GREAT! I loved it!
Thanks, Marjorie!
Important thing to remember Jenny… You can’t serve others unless you take care of yourself. I think this wisdom comes with age – one should never feel guilty about enjoying the success. It took me a long time to get there. So pleased for your ah-hah moment.
So true!
Jenny, your postings are so refreshing! It takes courage to put your heart on your sleeve.
As we’re about to publish our first book for our website, simultaneously working with a company to help us market the book, and searching for a new “day job”, it’s become even more important to pace myself. Thank you for the reminder – a valuable lesson!
Congratulations on now having a “wait list”. That’s a big turning point.
You sound busy, Brenda, so that’s definitely a great time to start pacing 🙂 Congrats on your book!
Congratulations Jenny, both on reaching success and realizing that you need to stop! I’m still in the process of building my business, but because I left my former job to create the lifestyle I want, I build little breaks and set boundaries so that I don’t let my work take over my life. In fact, I wrote a blog post about this a few weeks ago called this is why I quit my job – I do one thing a week that I couldn’t do if I had a “traditional” job to remind myself why I made this scary leap into the unknown.
Excellent, Martine! Great way to keep yourself remembering why you quit and what you really want. I mean we all want successful business but the reason we want them is to also create lives we love. And making that life you love happen in small ways right now is perfect!
Jenny, this brought years to my eyes. I’m so happy for you and your success, not the part about the waiting list or the clients or even the money. The part that you just realized you can go on a hike with your dog. The part where you get to enjoy life, outside of your business. Thank you so much for sharing (sans makeup and all, everyone loves you so much I don’t think that the makeup even matters). I am in the beginning, still working a job I dislike, and now I see more clearly than ever what my goal is. To go on a hike with my dog (translation for me: time with my husband, kids and grand babies, in my garden planting seasonal flowers, putting that photo album together, doing life). Thank you 🙂
Thank you, Teri! It means a lot to me. And I’m really happy for you in seeing what you want. You will make it happen!
HI Jenny, Thanks so much for sharing this vulnerable moment! I’m not exactly at the “made it” point but this summer has been incredibly difficult (still working a day job and it has been stressful beyond belief) and I’ve taken a couple of breaks.
I think it’s important, even for newbies and those of us who haven’t necessarily “made it” yet, to know that there are times when you have to stop, or take a break, because you are no good to anyone if you are worn out or overloaded.
I was feeling incredibly guilty for going to the amusement park with my son on a day off, and taking a non-business related workshop for a few days, and spending 4 nights in a row just watching TV after work…. until it occurred to me that I have had some major wins this summer as a result of some hard work and I need to recharge and enjoy LIFE in order to begin the next round of hard work.
My business isn’t growing as rapidly as I wish it could (gotta pay the mortgage and feed a growing teenage boy!) but pacing myself and making strategic choices about how I spend my time is the right thing for me right now.
We all have to take breaks, whether we think we’ve “made it” or not! So the key is to look for small “made it” moments, like writing a few blog posts ahead of schedule. Signing on a new client. Writing a sales page or launching a program. Celebrate along the way. And absolutely go to an amusement park!! Recharging will keep you energized and motivated to keep on going. You’ll get there!
Yes! I have been thinking about this very thing lately! I’ve been in the startup/hustle phase for two straight years and have a really hard time stopping. I’m always looking toward the future and what we can do next to build the business. Oftentimes I forget to stop and enjoy the milestones and successes along the way. Thanks for sharing your message & giving us the reminder that it’s okay to break out of the hustle habit!
You certainly have been working hard, Sonia! And I also know you’ve done a lot so you don’t have the be a one woman show any more! It’s amazing and impressive what you’ve done. Yes, there’s always more to do and it’s always a good time to celebrate what you’ve created. Congratulations!
I loved this video. Thanks for the message, for deciding to sit in front of the camera in your kitchen and convey it in such an authentic way. Who needs makeup!
Thanks, Elisa!
bravo!!! yay Jenny- go you!
Jenny,
You are such an amazingly honest woman and I appreciate your willingness to share the beautiful less polished pre-makeup side of yourself. I absolutely love this perspective. Some times I have a challenging time taking a full day off, because I do not feel like I have “made it” yet and have so much more work to do today. I just sat and took stock of all that I actually did accomplish this week and thought, “Whoa! I am not giving myself enough credit!” I published a new online class, I did some work on my upcoming book release, I made some stuff out of clay and I played with my animals! Not only that, but I ate some good food and listened to some good music and have beautiful friends to share my life with….I started to realize, that I may not be booked through what I would like, but in many ways, I have a full and “made it” kinda life…Thanks much : )
You definitely have a “made it” kind of life, Court!! I have a friend who tracks her accomplishments daily because she, like most of us, forget how much we actually do in a week! I love that you took stock of what you did and saw all that unfolded. If you keep doing all of that, the business you dream of can’t be far behind!
It’s funny reading all these replies to your post because it felt as if you were just talking to me. I hope you enjoyed your hike with your dog, and I’m off to celebrate 5 new sign ups to my website WHILE I WAS ON HOLIDAY by going to bed early! Thanks for such an important reminder.
Woohoo!! Now that’s the joy of an online business, Clarie! Enjoy it!
Hey Jenny,
I love your video (and you look great ‘sans make-up’ by the way). Like you I initially found it difficult to say no to clients no matter how booked up I was. Well at least unlike you I have never been in a position where I had to say “no”… but something like “my earliest availability is in ** months time”… and sometimes its suits prospective clients and other times it doesn’t. While I do my best to accommodate people as much as possible, I never go over my self-imposed limit in the number of clients I see per week.
When I started getting busy, I learned (the hard way!) its so important not to overwork regardless of demand. I now, like you, plan my follow-up appointments with existing clients well in advance so I leave time in the schedule for them while new clients may need to be scheduled as much as two or three months later depending on availability.
As an entrepreneur with a day job, preserving and recharging my energy levels have become my biggest priority lately and its by going for those walks and taking some downtime that it happens. I’m actually on a sabbatical at the moment to do just that! Its so easy to get into the rut of working just for the sake of it isn’t it! The danger when your work is your passion I guess! 🙂
And on that….. I’m not sure how you feel about it but do you find it hard to switch off sometimes from your passion? Many of the things I find fun are related to my work but in reality may not be ‘proper’ downtime! lol
Well I guess the reality is that no matter how experienced we are, we are all still learning and that’s ok 🙂
Sounds like you’ve done a great job balancing your work and your business, Eilish. That’s fantastic. And you’ve learned to respect your own limits, which is great as well.
Do I find it hard to turn off my passion? Yes 🙂 I do love my business! The other side to it is that I have chronic Lyme disease which has limited my energy level. So I really only have so much to give before my brain goes foggy and I fall over! The upside to this is that I know that I have to turn off my business brain if I want to keep my business running. Though sometimes challenging, I’ll give myself some TV time to turn off the brain, or something to switch me out of business brain and into brainless!
The second part is listening to my intuition about when to turn off my business brain. I took 4 days of this past long weekend doing no business thinking whatsoever. I knew I needed the brain break in order to keep going.
Just know your cues, listen and follow, and then enjoy the wild ride the rest of the time!
Beautiful, Jenny, in all kinds of ways!
Love this message and totally agree. In fact, I’m currently headed to the zoo with my boys 🙂
Thanks for doing what you do, sharing what you share, and being who you are. Happy to know you, lady!
Yay for having fun with your boys. And big love right back at you, Nikki. You’re go-getter-ness and unabashed kick-assness in the past 6 months has been mind-blowing. It’s been so fun to watch!
Thanks for this, Jenny! I think I may actually have the opposite “problem”: taking plenty of time off even though I don’t feel I’ve made it! But, living my life is just as important to me as my business, so I’ve always found a way to support myself while also getting to travel and do everything else that matters to me. Your story makes me wonder if I couldn’t push myself just a *little* bit harder…
I love how you’ve created a traveling life and business, Amy. I find that so inspiring!!
Hey Jenny~ this is a belated response, but I just came across this. Way to go for listening to outside advice when you needed to, and many congrats on your biz!!!
Thanks, Sarah!