To keep giving you relevant and timely content, we update our most popular posts. This article was last updated in May 2021.
For my first two years in business, I made a very specific, horrible mistake. The problem was that I had no idea that this mistake was costing me clients—tons of them.
One day, a lightbulb went off. I saw what I had been doing and immediately saw how to change it.
Although changing it wasn’t easy and it took tons of practice, this one shift put me on a path to much greater success than I could have ever had if I had continued in my old ways.
I know I’m not alone in this mistake.
In fact, I see almost every single new (and often experienced) business owner making this mistake. And I won’t lie, it makes me cringe.
Why? Because I know how much it’s costing them and that if they can make the switch I made, everything will change. Everything.
What I Was Doing Wrong
In my earliest days as a career coach, I often blogged about theoretical topics, life coaching musings, and concepts I was personally exploring.
When I became a virtual assistant and project manager, my website copy talked about offering “superhero sidekick services.”
Although I felt the passion behind my words—whether in blog posts or web copy—my clients had only a vague idea WTF I was talking about.
This was a big problem!
If people don’t understand what you’re saying, they certainly won’t understand that you can help them. Meaning, they won’t hire you!
You’re Doing This Too
Although you likely don’t realize it, you’re making the same mistake I did.
You’re using your blog to muse on what lights you up, to explore topics you find interesting, and to be an outlet for your creativity.
In your copy, you’re talking about “releasing limiting beliefs,” “listening to your body,” “navigating change,” and “gaining clarity.”
You might be wondering what’s actually wrong with any of those things, and that’s a great question.
In fact, I guarantee that if you make this shift in language, you’ll almost immediately get leads for new clients. (As long as you’re actively putting yourself out there and not hiding behind your computer all day.)
Because if you talk to potential clients in words they understand, they’ll get how you can help them. And then, they’ll hire you.
How to Make This Shift
This essential skill of getting out of jargon and into your clients’ language is easy to spot and difficult to master. Without it, you’re doomed. With it, the sky’s the limit for you and your business.
So how do you make this shift?
First, you have to catch yourself in the act. Catch yourself using jargon, musing on your own interests instead of your clients, or talking in “expert speak” instead of using everyday language.
Then, you have to ask one very important question. This one question will help you determine if you’re using jargon or everyday language, and then you’ll immediately know if and how your copy needs to change.
So what’s the question?
I’m going to cover it twice (because it’s that important).
First I covered it in my free guide, The Business Momentum Builder: 5 Steps to a Full Roster, Sold-Out Programs, and Easy Passive Income.
If you’re a … coach, consultant, nutritionist, dietician, social media expert, virtual assistant, therapist, counselor, yoga teacher, web designer, copywriter, or other service-based business owner …
You definitely don’t want to miss it!
Second, I’ll discuss it in next week’s blog post.
You’ll want to check out both of those resources to get the full scoop on how to make this shift so you can skip past these newbie mistakes and build a profitable business like a pro.
You Tell Me
I’m curious! Now that you see the massive mistake that many business owners make…
Do you see yourself making it, too?
Are you writing blogs for you or for your potential clients?
And in your copy, are you using “expert speak” or everyday language?
Not sure? Put a link to a blog post or your services page below, and I’ll give you some free coaching. (I’d love to help!)
Hi Gail! Thank you so much for being such a loyal reader! It’s my #1 aim to help smart, motivated women get their work out to the people who need it most, and it’s an honor to help you.
There are a handful of areas where I think you could improve the language you use plus the overall strength of the offer (like what I mentioned above to Jo and Gail).
First, the page you linked to is a mix of “about your work” and “about you” and “how you work” and “the details.” I teach my clients to streamline their site and not put too much on one page. The about page should be about you — not the services page. If you need to describe how you work (and most people think they do, but they really don’t!), it should also be on it’s own page. The services page should be 100% about working with and hiring you. So that would be my first big recommendation; then we’d be looking just at the work you do with clients so a prospect will know if you’re the right fit for them.
The next thing is language and word choice. There are lot of “your words” instead of client words. Like:
* we don’t strive to change or improve anything
* true nature
* With loving care, we open to the ways you suffer
It’s very much “therapy speak.” Can you see that?
Then the final suggestion I’d make would be to make the adjustments I recommend above to Jo and Gail. Spell out what the components are and help connect the dots for your prospects about how this will help them get the results they want.
I hope this helps!!
Very clear. Helps tons. Thanks so much, Jenny! So much appreciate it….
My pleasure, Gail!!
Thanks for covering this topic, Jenny. I *think* I’m using my clients’ language but would love to hear your expert opinion. Am I getting it right with this offer? Thank you in advance 🙂
Nice job, Jo! I agree, you are using your clients’ language. Well done!
While I was there, I noticed a few things that could really make your sales page stronger. You’ve go the right words at the top –which is the hardest part — but there’s some other content I teach my Make It Work Online clients to use that makes it a no-brainer for prospects to say YES.
Although it’s a lot to explain in just a comment here, the biggest thing that could use improving is the “what’s included section.” I teach my clients to spell out “the components” — that’s what I call this section. Instead of just giving a bulleted list of what’s included, call each item out with a strong description of how it helps the client get the results they’re looking for. It should be less about logistics and more about why it helps them.
Hope that helps. You’re off to a great start!
Thanks so much, Jenny! I’ll have a go at making those changes. I appreciate your time and advice so much 🙂
You’re welcome! It’s absolutely my pleasure!!
I love how much time you devote to this one one crucial step.
I get so lost in the jargon of my tribe, but they’re not necessarily my ideal clients. So trying to talk my ICA’s language means constantly evaluating what I’m saying, and what I’m writing. It’s exhausting when I look at it as a series of one-offs, but this step, this formula, drills down to the core. Love the simplicity!
I’m not sure if I’m speaking my ICA’s language so would welcome some feedback.
Thanks for all the great help you already deliver.
You’re off to a great start, Anna!
There’s definitely some room to more strongly use their words. To give you a few possibilities… (I say possibilities because only you can know for sure if these are or are not your clients’ words!)
* You want your career to thrill you from your core. — Do they say that they want their career to thrill them from their core?
* You’ll end up with a set of unique tools that’ll work for you… – Do they want “a set of tools” or do they want something else?
However, I’ll admit, I’m getting really nit-picky here! Because in general, you’re way better off than most people in terms of jargon use.
I think the area that you could focus on that would help you a lot is the same as what I mentioned above to Jo. Your packages are described in short bullets, and it would be very challenging for a prospect to really “get” that you can help them achieve their goals with just this as the description (4 50min 1:1 phone sessions; Free Email support; Exercises to help you focus and clarify your thoughts).
The next step for you is to strongly spell out each package and give the components a strong description. When you do this in just the right way, people really believe the you can help them — and it’s a no brainer to say yes!
Jenny, your feedback and explanation was exactly what I was looking for! It gives me something concrete to hold on to when looking at what’s working and what could be improved. Thanks for offering the help. It feels so good to get some personalized help from someone who will tell it like it is.
So happy to help, Anna!
Hi Jenny,
I get feedback from people on my list that they appreciate my work. But I’m wondering if I can connect with them to an even greater degree. I’d love your feedback on my services page.
BTW: I read every one of your blog posts and so appreciate your perspective and help with the details of building an online business. Thank you so much!
Hi Jenny,
Thank you so much for sharing this “shift” and HOW TO change it! I am definitely one of those who tends to “hide behind her computer” BUT I have recently felt the urge to leap and put myself out there even more as a wellness coach! You are the “nudge” that I needed! 🙂
xo,
amy
I love that you’re fessing up to bad habits and shift them, Amy! Yes — you gotta get out from behind that computer and talk about your business!
The best thing you can do on your coaching page is switch from selling “life coaching with Amy” to selling “I help you solve this specific problem you’re having in your life.”
When people come to your site (or anyone’s site, for that matter), they’re looking to know that you GET them — meaning understand their struggles and their desires — and that you are able to help them.
The way I coach my clients to articulate this in their copy is to first connect with your clients using their language. This should be at the top of the coaching page. Then you talk about the solution you offer to their problem.
This approach actually “sells” better than simply saying “I’m a good listener.”
This means you need to figure out what those words are that your people are using and put them on your page.
Does this make sense?
Thanks Jenny! This totally makes sense . . . I think I do “sell” how I help my clients solve their specific problems on other pages of my website, but I totally get what you are saying about “coaching with Amy” and showing potential clients what wellness life coaching and I can do for them! Many thanks!!! xo, amy
Hi Jenny,
This is great advice. I’ve been trying to put it into practice and would love to hear what you think about this page: Thanks so much!
–Ricki 🙂
Great to see you here, Ricki!!
You’ve done a great job with your copy. I think there are a few places that maybe could use some tweaking, thouhg it really depends on what your clients are looking for.
For example,
Is your target client’s primary frustration at this point that she wants “to love food again” but doesn’t think she can? Does she want to “rediscover the joy of eating”?
OR is she “worried about how to stick with a new diet”?
Do you see how they’re a bit conflicting, addressing two different problems? Which is the main problem they describe as they challenge they’re facing?
Another example is this section where the language is pretty vague:
“After our work together, you’ll have a solid foundation from which to begin. You’ll be clear on the next steps to take.”
Would they use those words? And truthfully, what do they actually mean?
Writing clear copy is HARD!! You’re off to a fantastic start, that’s for sure. These are two examples of areas where tightening it up a bit more would help make it even better.
This is also what the next blog post is about, so check that out. I think it will help you finalize the verbiage.
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Keep up the good work!
Hi Jenny- I think my blog speaks to my potential clients and would love for you to take a look and offer any feedback.
In looking at your first post…
One suggestion I’d made that’s not about copy but is still really important is that you adjust the body font on your blog. The italic font is hard to read, and we want to make sure it’s as readable as possible so people will read it (and fall in love with what you do!).
As far as content, it’s fairly straightforward and direct, as far as I can tell! Nice work!
Hi Jenny,
Thanks for this 7 Things free course!
It’s great to revisit this exercise. Here’s my 6 sentence summary, top of page. I’d very much appreciate any comments.
Hi Charlotte!
A few tips!
First, we want you to be under three sentences.
Second, they need to be about your people and how you help them, not YOUR philosophy.
Third, skip “how” you help (eg, one-on-one) and focus on results.
Here are some other blog posts that might help:
https://jennyshih.com/2015/02/first-five-steps-getting-clients/
https://jennyshih.com/2015/01/want-clients-make-sure/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
This isn’t easy but is absolutely essential. Keep at it!
Hi Jenny
Thank you for this invaluable advice and generous training.
My problem is that I think I’m talking to my readers in their language. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE you to take a look at my copy and see what you think.
On the App Store we put a quote from one of our Take Two customers, so this IS his language.
Anyway I would really appreciate your wise advice.
Thank you for your wonderful generosity. xx
Here is a link to the US App Store
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/take-two/id1290896192?mt=8
I’ll start by saying that I am not an expert on apps nor an avid app buyer 🙂
That said, when I clicked to your app, my first thought was, “What is this and why would I need it? Next!” Meaning, there was nothing about the initial screen that caught my attention or got me curious.
Then I got curious what other apps do, because this reaction could purely be because I am not someone who thinks about buying apps at all. So I poked around the App store and found this app: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/out-of-milk-shopping-list/id564974992?mt=8
What was interesting about it was on the very first screen, it had a quick video telling me what the app did and why I needed it. I was intrigued by what they did and thought it was really smart. They did their part to tell the user why they need this app and how it would help them. Plus the description was really clear and easy to understand. With yours, not so much.
You asked for feedback, so I was brutally honest here. I hope that was what you were looking for and hope this helps you with the next iteration of your marketing on the App store!
Hi Jenny
This is exactly the feedback I need to hear. This kind of honest feedback is the best. I don’t find it brutal at all. I find it enormously helpful, specific and delivered with a kind heart. I am very grateful for your considered response.
We have a user demonstration on our webpage http://www.taketwoapp.com.au/
If you get a chance to check the HOW IT WORKS part I would appreciate your sage advice.
Thanks
Hi Annette! So glad it helped! I wish I had endless time to help everyone with their copy, but my limited time has to mostly go to my clients. I’d suggest asking as many people-on-the-steet as you can for feedback on your video and your app. That’s the kind of input that helps us clarify our messaging for our target clients and spread the word about what we do. Keep up the question-asking and action-taking!