When I started working for myself, I was so determined to make my business work that I was willing to try and do almost anything so I wouldn’t have to go back to my old job.
One of the things that paid off the most in my early years—and still does today—was that I was willing to fail.
I can see you shaking your head at me thinking, “I know, I know, Jenny. We have to be willing to fail 1000 times… blah blah blah.”
I hear you. I hate this advice, too. It might be popular, but I can’t stand it.
That’s why I never tell myself, “It’s okay to fail” or “You have to be willing to fail.”
I know, I just confused you. I said that being willing to fail has been one of the best things I’ve done yet I never think about it.
That’s because I look at “failure” differently than most people.
Instead of telling myself that it’s okay to (or I must) fail, I think, “I have to make this work.” (Because really, I do, if I want to keep my house and put food on the table.)
And that word choice makes all the difference. I’ll explain…
The only ways to not have to go back to my corporate job were to win the lottery or make my business work or move in with my in-laws.
In all of my attempts to make it work, I did some things that panned out, but more often than not, my efforts left me with zero or minimal results. Such as:
> I went to weekly networking events for a full year and got zero clients from it.
> I created a special coaching offer called “Superhero Treasure Hunt” (I know, ridiculous but true), thinking I was following good advice I randomly found online. It got a whopping zero inquires.
> After an exciting win when I first sold Get Your First 1000 Subscribers, I created a class called “How to Create an Irresistible Freebie” (because everyone in the first class said they wanted this class), but I sold barely any spots.
> I tried again by creating three how-to “Quickie Clinics” that I was convinced would be a huge hit, fixing the mistakes I thought I made in my last sales attempt. In total, they barely brought a few hundred dollars.
I did a lot of things to try to make my business work, MOST OF WHICH TOTALLY DID NOT WORK. In other words, they failed.
But here’s my point: I didn’t register these “failures” as failures.
I simply saw them as “things that didn’t work.”
This subtle difference in language between “failures” and “things that didn’t work” made all the difference in my ability to persist. (Because, as you know, this shit is hard, we will fail, and we must persist!)
When I tried something that didn’t work, I didn’t think, “I failed” or “I’m a failure.”
Instead, I thought, “That didn’t work.” Then, “What can I try next?”
You’re smart enough to know that business isn’t a rapid succession of quick, easy wins. The only way to make it work is to keep trying new things.
This is ALWAYS going to be true no matter how successful you get or how long you’ve been in business. I learned this the hard way over the past year.
I thought that if I hit the “repeat” button on things that had been successful in the past that my business would get to the point where it would sail along effortlessly. Boy, have I been wrong about that!
Here are some of my failures from the last 9 months, all things that had been successful in the past but totally flopped this most recent time around:
> I created several combinations of Facebook ads and opt-in pages, all which had dismal conversion rates. (By dismal, I mean single digits. In one case, zero conversions.)
> I offered a webinar that had lower registration than some of my free trainings from 5 years ago when my email list was significantly smaller.
> I created a retreat that noone signed up for, putting me $5292 in the hole for a lost hotel deposit plus an additional $875 in legal fees.
In short, I have been failing big time.
Was I bummed? Of course! Did I quit because it didn’t work out? Hell no!
As I said before, I didn’t think of these things as failures. They were just things I tried that didn’t work out.
I say this not because I’m trying to be all enlightened about it. In truth, I really didn’t think that way.
I know better than to say to myself, “I failed,” because it doesn’t help me keep going! It would make me feel, um, like a failure! And failures quit! And I can’t quit!
I must keep going.
We all must keep going!
This makes my job (and your job) relatively straightforward.
I (and you, too) must keep trying new things. When something works, do more of it until it stops working.
When something doesn’t work or stops working, learn from it and try something else.
Don’t create unnecessary drama. Don’t worry about being “a failure.” (In fact, stop using that word altogether if it bums you out. Permission granted!)
Be someone who keeps trying and keeps going no matter what happens.
Read that again: Be someone who keeps trying and keeps going no matter what happens.
Be someone who is committed to making it work no matter what.
Don’t stop trying. Don’t worry about failing.
Just figure out what you’re going to do next — then do it.
Can you do that?
Tell me in the comments below.
Love your perspective Jenny! And your honesty about what didn’t work for you. I like to think of it when you try something new that you’ll either get “success or an education”. Helps keep me motivated to keep going and learning while being gentle with myself too!
I totally agree! I always tell my clients, it may or may not work but I promise you’ll learn something! It’s always true 🙂
Love this post Jenny!
The words we choose to say to ourselves make all the difference. Scratch that. The words we choose to believe about ourselves make all the difference. I’m so pleased you’re discussing how reframing can help and I’m very happy to have permission to ditch the word “failure” – thank you! 🙂 We’ve got to keep looking for the lessons in what we do (which is what I tell myself most of the time, though I’m the first to admit I still have off days. I reckon we need to remind ourselves to take our own advice more often – we’d never tell a loved one “you totally failed at that” would we?!
Haha! We do need to remind ourselves to take our own advice more often, don’t we? I will often say to myself, “What would I say to so-and-so if they were in this situation?” to help myself get out of a stuck spot.
Keep your permission slip handy so you can keep moving forward and taking action!
Wasn’t it Edison who said that he hadn’t failed, he’d just found a thousand ways NOT to invent a light bulb?
Thanks for the honesty, and the good advice which I WILL follow. 😀
It’s always my pleasure to help, Karen! Now get out there! 😉
Perfect timing! Thank you for this post and for clarifying that important distinction between “failing” and trying something that “didn’t work”– I wish I’d had that insight a few years ago!
I was just thinking something similar yesterday after a friend asked me how my recent class offerings had gone. She’s seen them advertised and, though she had expressed interest, she already had things going on and couldn’t sign up.
I had a moment where I realized that in the past, I might have tried to make something up to give my “failure” a little flourish, but now without hesitation, I know these as “things I tried that didn’t work” and I’m not embarrassed by them. Do I feel disappointed that something I worked hard on yielded nothing? Of course! Do I feel bummed that no one was interested in that particular thing I wanted to share at that particular time? Yep. Do I even start to doubt my worth and what I’m doing? For a moment, yes– but I no longer keep doing this over and over. I let those natural emotions come up, but I don’t get stuck on them. I get to work with my creativity and start thinking up new ideas– and it’s so liberating!
I told my friend that no one had signed up for any of my new class offerings, and I told her that it had been a learning experience because I stepped out to try something new. We both laughed about it and moved on– no need to be embarrassed. 🙂
This is so great, Rachael! You’re spot on that we can be bummed and NOT wallow in those emotions. We can feel what we feel and then move on to the next step.
Check out the links I shared with Kimberly above. The might help you with your next attempt as well.
Most importantly: Keep going!
I am one of those who keep going .. and many times I thought about quitting. Great advice.
Yes!
Thanks Jenny, just what I needed to hear.
I love your keep on keepin’ on attitude.
In appreciation,
Gloria
We’ve got to keep going if we want to make it work and keep it working. So we create the right mindset — whatever it takes — to make that happen. You’ve got this, Gloria!
This post spoke right to me. Loved hearing about the stuff that hasn’t worked for you. We’re always surrounded by “6 figure launches” and “grew my list to 10k in 6 months” that when stuff doesn’t work it feels like we’re in a very lonely place. Thank you for your honesty! I just had a crappy launch on a product I love and believe in and I was wondering how to reposition it or if I even should. I’m definitely going to and it’s gonna be great! (I hope! 🙂
It’s fun (and easy) to post about dramatic wins, isn’t it? But it’s such a small sliver of reality! Let’s get real: shit doesn’t always work!
So bravo to you for sharing your crappy launch and deciding that the next step is to just figure out what went wrong.
By the way, I have a few posts that might help you troubleshoot. Start with these two:
>> https://jennyshih.com/2016/05/big-email-list/ (definitely grab the download for that one)
>> https://jennyshih.com/2014/01/learning-failures-wins-create-success-business/
Good luck with round two, but even if it doesn’t work perfectly, it’s not the end. Just keep on keepin’ on! (I’ll be cheering you on the whole way).
Wow – this blew my mind Jenny! Especially the misses you mentioned in the last 9 months. Thank you for showing your vulnerable side – it really helps to see my failures as stepping stones. With each failure, I have been learning a ton – so much that I can’t even call them failures, except that they didn’t bring in money. But I’ve been learning, trying new things, gaining experience, and getting ideas for improvements. Thank you so much for this encouragement along the way!
You’re exactly right, Saiisha! The failures are stepping stones and really teach us so much. One of the things I’ve always loved about you was that you really go for it (it being whatever you’re trying right now) and that you just keep going. The fact that you have this “learning” perspective is proof that it works — because just keep at it. Bravo!! xo
Gosh, thanks Jenny 🙂
<3
When I was working on my Master’s thesis (fellow STEM grad here!), my advisor told me to plan a section called (literally): Things That Didn’t Work. I love the idea of applying that to our business mindset too.
What a great story. Thanks for sharing, Mallie!
OMG, Jenny!! Once again – the most perfect words EVER!! Especially this line: “When something doesn’t work or stops working, learn from it and try something else” and this one “Be someone who keeps trying and keeps going no matter what happens.”
I think it’s this attitude that sets the do-ers and the go-go-go-ers from everyone else. We don’t quit when one thing goes wrong. We don’t base our success just on numbers. We keep plugging away because we are determined, dedicated, and dead-set on having our freedom!!!
You’re totally right, Stefani! That is the attitude of doers and what separates those who “make it” from those who don’t. SO keep it up!!
Thank you for your honesty and insight into your business highs and try-something-different-next-times! It’s super encouraging and humanising to read your ups and downs.