One of the most frustrating things as an online business owner is knowing that people are visiting your site, reading your blog posts, and viewing your Work With Me page but not hiring you.
Talk about maddening!
You KNOW you can help people and deliver amazing results for your clients, but prospective clients are barely trickling in. You’re not getting as many consults as you want, some people show interest but never follow through, and you’re left wondering how to fill your roster faster.
What if I told you there’s one thing that’s so ridiculously simple to fix you can implement today to start seeing better results?
It’s SO easy that you even won’t have to redo your offer, rewrite your Work With Me page, or grow your email list by one more subscriber.
In fact, if you already have a results-driven offer, persuasive copy, and a decent sized email list—but you’re missing this one thing—people likely won’t hire you at all.
That’s why we’re going to fix it right now, and I’m giving you a Steal This! Template so you can implement the change immediately. (It will take you less than 3 minutes to copy and paste it onto your website.)
Sound good?
You’re Missing Something Small (But Super Important)
When I review applications for potential Make It Work Online clients, I also review their websites to see if they’re a good fit for the program.
I notice a common problem on almost every site I review—one you’re likely making, too.
What is it?
People don’t know EXACTLY how to hire you!
Sure, you list your services, talk about your coaching or consulting offer, explain your experience and expertise, and maybe even have some stellar testimonials.
You may also have incredible copy describing the results clients get.
But you’re missing one crucial element: They don’t know the specific steps to take to hire you.
And just like that, you’ve lost a client. (Yikes!)
Luckily, there’s a simple solution.
Click to TweetMost Work with Me pages are missing one crucial element. Luckily, there’s a simple, 3-minute fix …Add This to Your Copy Today
I promised you it was easy…
All you have to do is tell your prospective clients what steps to take next.
I mean you literally tell them, step by step, how to hire you.
There’s a very specific way to do it for maximum impact, which is why I’m sharing my copy-and-paste templates (something I previously reserved only for paying clients), so you can be sure to do it right the first time.
My Personal Recommendation for You The Unique 4-Step Business Building Plan to grow your service-based businessSteal This! Must-Have Copy for Your ‘Work With Me’ Page
I want you to add these exact lines to your website copy, only tweaking the words that must be tweaked for your unique business.
If You Offer Free Consultations
Are you interested in working with me? Here’s how to get started.
Step 1. Schedule a complimentary, no-obligation consult. You can do that right here.
[Link that last sentence to your online scheduler. I personally recommend Acuity.]
Step 2. Watch your email for questions from me. Before we hop on the phone, I’d like to know a bit about you and what you’d like to get out of coaching with me.
[Note: You can skip Step 2 if you don’t send pre-consult questions. However I strongly recommend you do because it will help you prepare for the consultation and increase your chances of closing a sale if they’re a perfect client. Read more about my system for new client intake.]
Step 3. Hit “reply” to that email and answer the questions.
Step 4. At the scheduled time of your consult, we’ll consult! We’ll use the opportunity to make sure we’re the perfect fit before you commit.
Step 5. Then we’ll get started! If you decide to work with me, I’ll tell you the exact steps for getting started. If you decide not to work with me or if we aren’t a perfect fit, I’m happy to share other resources to help you get what you need.
Have questions? Email me. [Link to your email]
If You Have Buy-Now Button
Are you interested in working with me? Here’s how to get started.
1. Click the “Buy Now” button below to submit your payment.
2. After you submit your payment, you’ll receive your welcome packet and client agreement from me within 1 business day.
3. Once your agreement has been signed, you’ll be given access to your client prep work [whatever you call it].
4. When your prep work is complete, you’ll be given a link to schedule your session with me. Then, we’ll have our session!
Have questions? Email me. [Link to your email]
Why It Works
Easy enough, right?
But there’s one catch. You MUST keep the “Step 1,” “Step 2,” etc., because the magic is in the “steps.”
Outlining the exact steps you want your prospective clients to take gives people safety, reassurance, and peace of mind as to what happens next—all of which make it easier for them to hire you.
Click to TweetOutlining the exact steps prospective clients should take next makes it easier for them to hire you.Imagine you’ve traveled to a new city and are standing in a crowded subway station. There’s no service desk, no signage, and no train schedule. You know where you want to go, but you don’t know which train to take, what track it’s on, or what time it’s leaving. It’s stressful and confusing!
Well, that’s exactly what your Work With Me page is like if you’re missing the clearly defined steps for hiring you. Without them, prospects are lost and confused. With them, they know exactly how to get started.
Click to Download7 Steps to Make It Work OnlineWant More Help?
Now you see what I meant when I told you how simple this was! And if you want to take it to the next level, here’s what to do.
Step 1. Add the above templated copy to your website TODAY.
Step 2. Read through the comments below for the personal tips I gave business owners like you. If you’re making the same mistakes, adjust your Work with Me page to improve the page and increase your signups.
Step 3. Watch the Facebook Live streams I made on How to Write a Compelling ‘Work With Me’ page, where I walk through what should be on your page and how to write copy that sells. I also address many of the common mistakes that I saw in reviewing many of the pages shared in the comments below. Watch Part 1 here and Part 2 here.
Step 4. Take action!
You are more than welcome to celebrate your wins and share your insights below. I’d love to read them!!
My Personal Recommendation for You Everything you need to earn predictable income by offering one-on-one services
Register for class page features a revised version of this template!
Fantastic, Jennifer! Sometimes adding what seem like obvious instructions can be so helpful to prospective clients.
Would you like for me to give you some personal feedback on your site? Which page would you like? (Since there isn’t other copy on that page, I wanted to check with you first.)
Wow, thanks Jenny! I’m launching my new Life Coaching website today and I just used your copy! Couldn’t have come at a better time! I also changed the name of my “Life Coaching” tab to “Work With Me.” Thanks again!
Mary Ellen
Way to take action, Mary Ellen!
Here are three suggestions to make your copy stronger. There’s lots we can do to make it killer, but to get you started I’m going to keep it simple.
First, I want your page to start out talking to prospects about themselves, not talk about you. The reason for this is because your work with me page needs to say (not in these exact words), “I get you. I get your challenges. I get your dreams. I can help.” And the best way to do that is to talk about them to them.
You can see how I do this on my Make It Work Online program page at makeitworkonline.com. Although this isn’t a work with me page, the same idea applies. The strongest copy starts with things like “you are…” or “you feel…” or “you want…”
Second, I want you to focus on the solution you provide to clients. How do they feel, what do they get, and how are they different after they work with you? Here’s a post to get some wheels turning for you. https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Third, after you work through those two, it’s time to get out of “coach speak” and into the language of your clients. It will help immensely for prospects to get how much you can help them. See this post for more info. https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
That gives you a lot to work on, and it will also help with getting more clients. Keep up the action taking. You’re doing great!
Thanks so much Jenny! Makes so much sense, I’ll be working on it!
You’re welcome, Mary Ellen! I love that you’re getting right to work on it!
Konbanwa Jenny! Can’t be clear enough and magic IS in the steps! Always good to keep reviewing and refreshing – thank you so much for this! Have followed you to the tea over here: http://www.divyamariekato.com/ Thank you again and best wishes from Japan! Divya x
I am so happy with all of you action-takers!
Here are my three suggestions for you.
First, I need to know what you do! There’s almost no copy on the page. Your work with me page should spell out who you help, how you help them, and what kinds of results you get. Check out this post: https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Second, when you figure out what to offer, watch for jargon and stay focused on your clients’ language. Here’s a post to help with that; https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Third, can you move your book over to another page? I’m guessing the book and working with you are two different things. So let’s keep it clean, easy, and straightforward for prospects to know how to hire you (versus how to buy your book).
That should give you a great start. Have fun, and keep up the action-taking!
You’re so on! Ok, new copy has been set up online here: http://www.fullgallopcomm.com/work-with-me/
Woohoo! This is so much fun to see you all making it happen!
Here are three tips for your page, Amanda.
First, I want you to define a “packaged” solution you offer to clients to help them achieve a specific result. Maybe that’s three months to help them do X or one session to help them accomplish Y. Right now, you talk about what you do, which is good, but people are looking to buy solutions, so that’s what we need to market. This post will elaborate a bit on this idea. https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Second, you’ll want to do a little work on reducing jargon. There’s some wording in there that could be way more specific to your clients. (This, for example: “Whether you are a manufacturer or a retailer, I bring a deep understanding of marketing and strategy to help you decide how to most effectively get the most out of your advertising media planning to create and maintain a unique and tantalizing brand.”) Take a look at this post to help you shift into using your clients’ language. https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Third, as you work through those changes, I also want you to move from saying “I will” to saying “You will.” Prospects want to know more about what they’ll get than what you’ll do. It’s a small but powerful copy tip that helps people feel heard and understood.
Alright! That’s a lot to do but you seem totally up for the challenge. You’ve got this!
Thanks so much! I can do this for clients, but it’s so much more challenging when writing about yourself. I’ve enjoyed your videos and your articles that I’ve read so far have great focus on great topics.
You’re welcome! Yes, it is much harder to do for ourselves than for other people. I’m happy to help!
Amanda, you have steps 1, 3 and 3!
Thank you for this; I’ve added it to my primary work with me page at http://www.alifeinprogress.ca/?post_type=product.
You get bonus points for putting it on your main page and your sub pages. Nicely done!
Here are three tips to help you strengthen your copy further.
First, (this might seem silly) would be to reduce the amount of bold formatting. Bold (or any formatting) should be there to serve a specific purpose, like highlight a sentence or something potent. When you have two whole paragraphs in bold, it makes it hard to read and less impactful. Also, see if you can break those paragraphs up. Copy is best done in shorter bites so it’s easier to read on screens.
Second is the same as what I told Mary Ellen above:
I want your page to start out talking to prospects about themselves, not talk about you. The reason for this is because your work with me page needs to say (not in these exact words), “I get you. I get your challenges. I get your dreams. I can help.” And the best way to do that is to talk about them to them. You can see how I do this on my Make It Work Online program page at makeitworkonline.com. Although this isn’t a work with me page, the same idea applies. The strongest copy starts with things like “you are…” or “you feel…” or “you want…”
Third, since your navigation item is “work with me 1:1,” I’d love to see all of your 1:1 offers on one page, instead of having to click through to another page. I personally prefer long pages with lots of info over many short pages where I have to click around. It makes it easier for prospects to navigate and see what the options are.
Okay, I’m also going to give you a bonus one 🙂 If I flip to your counseling page, there are too many options. I let my clients do a maximum of three — and each has to be geared toward solving a specific (and different) solution. Prospects need to be able to look at the options and clearly see which one helps them.
Keep up the good work!
You’ve given me a lot to work on and I so appreciate your advice. Thank you, Jenny. I also loved your three recent videos! I will definitely be taking action on your suggestions. What about maintaining links to other pages for lab testing?
Thanks for the kind words, Krista! The blog posts will all be here live indefinitely, but the recent free video series training will be taken down on 9/1 when applications close for Make It Work Online.
I reworked my page and wonder if you’d have a moment to look at it. I also watched a video you suggested to someone else and deleted one program in favor of a BSO:)
Much better, Krista! I love how you take feedback and take action. Nice work!
There are a few things that I want you to do differently that will help you even more. They’re not super easy to explain (and I don’t have a blog post on this topic). So I decided that I’ll do a free workshop on FB Live tomorrow to talk about the elements of a killer “work with me” page. I’ll explain the one thing you’re missing in that training. (Hint: I call it “the offer components.”)
We’ll be sending details out tomorrow morning. The training will be at noon Pacific time on Facebook.
With a few of the tweaks I’ll talk about in that video, your page will double in sell-out-ready-ness! Nice work!
Thank you so much Jenny! I have been so much more productive in working on my website since I started getting your emails – I love your templates so much!!
Here is the link to my “work with me page”
I took a look at Acuity and am thinking about signing up for that too.. debating a little bit to see if I should wait until Im getting more traffic on the website.
Thank you!!
Leah
This made my day: “I have been so much more productive in working on my website since I started getting your emails – I love your templates so much!!” THANK YOU!! We do a lot of work here (it’s my whole team) to make sure that we get quality, actionable content out there to women who want to build their businesses and get their work out to the world, so thank you so much for saying this!
My first reaction was to give you similar feedback to what I gave to Divya above…. but then I clicked on your services page and I saw the problem.
You have a “services” page and a “work with me” page. They should actually be one in the same! Whether you call them services or work with me, that’s up to you. But the idea is to have how you work with clients and what you do with them AND the action steps in one place so they can easily take action (eg, schedule a consult) when they see that you can help them.
So that’s suggestion #1!
Now, looking at your services page, that’s where I want to give you feedback, because your copy is there and not on the work with me page.
If I look at your three options, here’s how to make the copy stronger for each of them. (Suggestions 2 and 3!)
I want your service descriptions to start out talking to prospects about themselves, not the concept of what you or the theory. Really get into their language (emotions, thoughts, desires). Your work with me page needs to say (not in these exact words), “I get you. I get your challenges. I get your dreams. I can help.” And the best way to do that is to talk about them to them.
Then, as you write this out, focus on their words and watch for any use of jargon. Here’s a post to help with that; https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
I know these changes will help a bunch. Keep up the action-taking!
Thank you Jenny (and thanks to your whole team 🙂 !!). I merged my “services” and “work with me” into one page – kept it as just “work with me”.
I had a feeling I was in the “jargon trap”, based on a prior email of yours, but that article really helped to clarify what was going on! I actually laughed out loud and the examples provided and then at reading my page as I thought..people definitely have no idea what Im talking about!!
My initial feeling was of dread as I thought about rewriting my copy but Im taking it one paragraph at a time and working my way through… I remember when I first started writing the copy too, I was really worried that if I just spoke the way my clients did / in “normal speak” that it would sounds unprofessional… I’m trying to let go of that as Im rewriting!
Thanks again 🙂
Bravo, Leah! Way to take the feedback and take action. (I love working with women like you!)
Bit by bit, you will have a stellar page. Keep it up!
Hi Jenny!
I can’t express how grateful I am for your awesome and detailed feedback!!
I redid the copy on my “work with me page” and if you are still reviewing people’s corrections then would love any additional feedback. Here’s the link –
Thanks again! I was telling a friend today how much of an inspirational business woman you are with regards to how you respond to everyone online!
Getting better, Leah!
The next thing you need to do is really “package” them into clear, distinct, results offers with clear “components” and end results.
The FB live video I did yesterday (see links at the end of the blog post above) should help you get started on how to do that.
Keep p the good work!!
(And I love action-takers in MIWO, so I sincerely hope you’ll apply!)
Thanks Jenny! I just finished watching the FB live videos you posted and am going to start re-working my packages/components/end results! I understand it much better now!
I sooooo wish I could do the MIWO program right now – it sounds so amazing – I feel so ready and that my business is too! I just left my full time job though with savings to sustain for the next few months while I focus on building this business and working part time as a therapist still 🙂 I will likely have to save up so that I can do MIWO the next time it’s offered – do you know when that might be?
So happy that the video and this template helped!
So far, for three years running, it’s been twice per year. However, I never make the decision about the next one until the current group is in full swing. Maybe early in 2017…
Just added it. Thank you for all the wonderful information.
I love the fast action, Vanessa!
Here are three tips for your work with me page. You definitely have a good start, and these will help make it so much stronger.
First, I want your copy to start out talking to prospects about themselves, not talk about you. The reason for this is because your work with me page needs to say (not in these exact words), “I get you. I get your challenges. I get your dreams. I can help.” And the best way to do that is to talk about them to them.
You can see how I do this on my Make It Work Online program page at makeitworkonline.com. Although this isn’t a work with me page, the same idea applies. The strongest copy starts with things like “you are…” or “you feel…” or “you want…”
Second, I want you to define a “packaged” solution you offer to clients to help them achieve a specific result. Maybe that’s three months to help them do X or one session to help them accomplish Y. Right now, you talk about what you do, which is good, but people are looking to buy solutions, so that’s what we need to market. This post will elaborate a bit on this idea. https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Third, as you implement these, you’ll want to do a little work on reducing jargon. There’s some wording in there that could be way more specific to your clients. (This, for example: “Whether you are a manufacturer or a retailer, I bring a deep understanding of marketing and strategy to help you decide how to most effectively get the most out of your advertising media planning to create and maintain a unique and tantalizing brand.”) Take a look at this post to help you shift into using your clients’ language. https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Keep up the action-taking. I’m cheering you on!
Thanks so much Jenny. I really appreciate all you are offering to us for free. Submitted my application for Make it work online earlier. Keeping fingers crossed and really excited:)
You’re welcome, Vanessa! It’s my pleasure to help!
My next review of MIWO applications will be in the next few days, so I’ll be sure to keep a look out for yours. (By the way, the feedback you get in MIWO is about 100x more detailed than this — we cover so much! So if you think this is helpful… just wait! 🙂 )
Hi Jenny,
Your post today really resonated with me. Great things to share, a bit sparse on the clients, though.
Here it the link to my phone coaching page (which is where I would like to grow) with the additions of your copy. Thanks!
Trish
So happy to help, Trish, and we’re going to do what we can to turn that client situation around 🙂
Here are three tips for your page.
First, I want you to define a “packaged” solution you offer to clients to help them achieve a specific result. Maybe that’s three months to help them do X or one session to help them accomplish Y. Right now, you talk about what you do, which is good, but people are looking to buy solutions, so that’s what we need to market. This post will elaborate a bit on this idea. https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
For my clients who are new to coaching and haven’t served a lot of clients, I suggest they start with a “bite sized offer.” Here’s a short video I made about what those are and why they help. https://www.facebook.com/jennyshihpage/videos/953576294729852/
Second, I want you to speak to the person reading your page, meaning speak to them directly. The copy should begin by saying things like “you feel” or “you worry” or “you…[something].” This tells, “I get you. I get your challenges. I get your dreams. I can help.” And the best way to do that is to talk about them to them.
You can see how I do this on my Make It Work Online program page at makeitworkonline.com. Although this isn’t a work with me page, the same idea applies. The strongest copy starts with things like “you are…” or “you feel…” or “you want…”
Third, as you do this, think about what your clients’ exact words are. I talk about it in this post: https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Step by step you will get clients. Let’s start with these basics and get you moving upward from there!
This is great.
Thank you, Jenny for sharing your tip & template.
Wishes for continued success is sent your way,
Tanya
You’re welcome! Way to take action, Tanya!
First, you are the only one so far who starts their copy with “you” — yay! That’s how it should start!
Now, onto your tips!
First, I want you to put your packages BEFORE the steps. I want to know what you offer before I know how to hire you.
Second — and this one’s harder to sort through in a blog comment (why I love being able to get on the phone with clients! — is how you present all of your work with me options on this page.
I’ll try to explain…
You have 5 different options. The good thing is that unlike most people, yours are pretty different. That means that a prospect isn’t likely to get confused about whether they need personal training or a workplace wellness program — that’s pretty obvious.
At the same time, it might get a little muddy for them when they look at your first three options. You’d know the answer to this better than me. The question to ask yourself is whether or not someone knows for themselves just based on reading the paragraph on your site if they need one-on-one training or a group coaching program or group classes. If a cold prospect knows what they need, then what you have is fine. If they don’t know what they need, then this page needs some reworking.
So then how do you rearrange it? Well it depends on what your prospects are thinking before they hire you. What they’re thinking about their problem, the solution they want, and if they know what “coaching” means. (I told you this wouldn’t be a direct answer!)
Our job is to make it as easy as possible for people to know how we can help them and which option is best for their needs. This means your job is to look at your work with me page from a prospect’s eyes and ask yourself if how you lay out your programs on this page is helpful to them in that way.
Does this make sense?
For a third tip, I clicked to your 1-1 training page. The main feedback I have for you there is that you need more copy! Basically reiterating most of what I shared with the women above around:
* having a defined package
* using your clients’ words
And then also moving the steps to below the copy.
Alright! You’re back to action mode. Have fun implementing!
Jenny, you are the best! I’ve added these steps to my work with me page. You’ve already given me some great advice! I’m so glad I found you!
I first have to tell you, Kerrie, that I love how you’re taking it all in, soaking up every lesson, and committing yourself to learning what you need and taking action where required. Way to go!!
The three tips I have for you are:
1. Creating specific packages. These should provide a “packaged” solution you offer to clients to help them achieve a specific result. Maybe that’s three months to help them do X or one session to help them accomplish Y. Right now, you talk about what you do, which is good, but people are looking to buy solutions, so that’s what we need to market. This post will elaborate a bit on this idea. https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
2. I want you to watch this video about “mini sessions.” The reason is for your own information — and so you can be as clear as possible with your language and word choice in the steps. https://www.facebook.com/jennyshihpage/videos/955436204543861/
3. Push yourself further in getting your clients’ language. Here are two posts on that:
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/copy-mistake-thats-killing-sales/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Keep up the learning and action-taking. That’s how you make it work!
Argh…Jenny, everything you send me is EXACTLY what I need. You are really practicing what you preach in terms of giving your followers value and being generous with your knowledge.
So happy to help, Hannah! Thank you for the kind words! If you add the copy to your site and would like feedback, just share the URL of your work with me page, and I’m happy to help!
Hey Jenny,
I love your suggestions and would love it if you could take a look at my work with me page at http://superwomanproject.com/.
If you have any ideas for improvement, I’d be grateful
Fantastic action-taking!
I have a question for you before I leave feedback. I want to make sure that I’m looking at the right page. All I see is a free strategy session, a bunch of testimonials, and then the options (4 boxes) at the bottom.
Do you want me to review the free page copy?
(FYI – I only ask “real,” genuine questions, no leading questions. This is just me clarifying so I get you what will help you the most. If this is it, I’m happy to review it!)
Hey Jenny. Yes. This is my private coaching page and where I funnel clients to for working with me. Please review this page — thank you for your feedback!!!
Okay, one more question and thank you for bearing with me!
Is your strategy session working? I mean, does it convert into paying clients currently, when you do get someone on the phone?
I haven’t converted any clients from the free sessions yet, but I’ve only done about 10 since I switched to this method of lead generation.
Thank you for humoring me!
Okay, two things. First, I absolutely will give you feedback on the page. Second, I’d love for you to watch this video. https://www.facebook.com/jennyshihpage/videos/955436204543861/
But! Before you watch, keep in mind that just because I have a particular preferred approach doesn’t mean that this approach doesn’t work. If you had a coach teach you this particular strategy and feel confident in your approach, your sales pitch, and your follow ups, keep going with it. There are multiple different ways to get clients and create a successful business; my way is certainly not the only way!
Now, onto the strategy page copy.
Most importantly, you need to have copy “selling” me on your free session just like you’d have copy to sell me on a paid program. Above I made the suggestion to several women that they create a package(s) that talks about the results people will get in working with them; eg, this X package create Y results.
In your case, yes you have copy that says they get a session and your best coaching and a follow up… but what does that actually mean for them in terms of results? That part’s missing.
The next thing is that you need copy focused on their language. Your starter sentence is what I call ‘jargon’ and mostly not the language that your clients use. Check out these two posts to help with that:
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/copy-mistake-thats-killing-sales/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Third, add in those steps! Right now, you don’t have the steps to getting started like outlined in this post; you just have your scheduler embedded. Letting them know, specifically and step by step, will help them have a sense of how it all works and what to expect.
This should get you moving in the right direction. Pleas let me know if I can help further!
THANK YOU SO MUCH JENNY! I’ll dive into your suggestions later and follow up with my conclusions and changes. I really appreciate your time and energy. How generous!
You are so very welcome, Jessica! That’s what I’m here for. I love helping women who show up for themselves 🙂
Hey Jenny,
I’ve been working on my “work with me” page and I wanted to ask a couple questions:
1. Do you recommend posting prices or covering that in the consult call?
2. Beyond describing what results they will get after working with me, do you also recommend that I explain everything they will get over our time together (i.e., you’ll get two sessions a month, email support, etc.)? Or should I explain that in the consult call instead?
3. Do you mind if we model ourselves after your work with me page? I really like it!
Such great questions! I’m going to give you the quick answers here, however I go into far more detail in the workshop I did yesterday. (Links are at the bottom of the blog post above. Definitely check it out — I cover tons!)
Yes, I recommend posting prices, but you certainly don’t have to.
Yes, cover the “logistics,” or “components” as I call them in your package copy. It should be over-emphasized, but it should definitely be included.
Yes and no re: modeling my WWM page. The reason is that when you offer 1-1 services, you want to have all of your packages outlined in one long page. This is exactly what I did when I did 1-1 coaching and encourage my clients to do the same. You can see a snapshot of my site from 2013 where I do what I recommend you and all my clients do: http://web.archive.org/web/20131011041927/https://jennyshih.com/what-i-offer/
I cover each one of these things in depth in that training (more than I can easily put in a blog comment), so definitely check it out. If after watching it, you still have more questions about any of this or other things, post them here or in the video thread. I’m here to help!
hey jenny! thanks for all of your help. i’m wondering what you think of my new work with me page. i’ve been doing a lot of work on it, based on all of your advice and feedback and would love another set of eyes now!
Getting better!
Watch the videos workshop I did on Facebook (links above) and pay special attention to the various aspects of a solid offer copy, particularly the “components.”
Keep up the good work!
Hi Jenny, Thank you so much! I look forward to hearing your suggestions.
https://sleepsolutionsunlimited.com/
Way to the action, Jo Anna!
The thing that pops up first is that you need copy! We need to know what you do and how you help people before we’re ready to schedule a consult.
This means you will need to focus on explaining solution you provide to clients. How do they feel, what do they get, and how are they different after they work with you? Here’s a post to get some wheels turning for you. https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Once you define that solution, provide a “packaged” solution to help them achieve that specific result. Maybe that’s three months to help them do X or one session to help them accomplish Y. Right now, you talk about what you do, which is good, but people are looking to buy solutions, so that’s what we need to market. This post will elaborate a bit on this idea. https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Thirdly, as you write copy, really get into your clients’ language. Here are two posts on that:
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/copy-mistake-thats-killing-sales/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Keep up the action-taking. I’m cheering you on!
HI Jenny! I added it to my website….
THANK YOU!!
Tracy
I love action-takers!
Here are your three suggestions to make the page stronger.
The very first thing for you to do is to look at your two client categories but revisit them from the perspective of your target client. From my layperson eyes, I can’t totally see the difference between the two.
Once you can more strongly differentiate between the two (or, quite possibly, they are one in the same — I see that a lot with clients!), then your next step is to create specific packages or solutions for their problem(s). See more here: https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Then dive into their language, their thoughts, their feelings. Find the right words that describe their challenges and desires — that’s what will create copy that sells. See these two:
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/copy-mistake-thats-killing-sales/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
When you do this, it might rearrange your page. The two column structure can be really hard to read, and often I recommend that clients spell out their package or packages in long form on their page and just have the steps in once place at the bottom — which works for both packages.
Way to take action. Time for this next action. Cheering you on!
Thanks for this, Jenny! I’m a life coach who helps smart, busy women learn to say no without feeling guilty so that they can reclaim their time, energy and peace of mind. I just updated my Work With Me page – http://www.brigiddineen.com/help-me-figure-out-my-life – and I’m excited to see the results 🙂
Happy to help!
Here are three tips for you.
First, you want to move your packages to the top and the “steps” to the bottom. They first need to know what they’re hiring you for before they need to know how to hire you.
Second, the three packages you summarize on that page aren’t easy to distinguish among one another. You’ll want to strongly differentiate between them and create specific packages or solutions for their problem(s). Really focus on the results. See more here: https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Third, since your first two offers are really small (with only a little bit of copy), I’m going to suggest what I did to several of the women above. Put them all on one long page with the “steps” at the bottom. That way a visitor can easily see their options and get a big picture view of what you do with clients.
These changes will help a lot!
Wow, Jenny. This particular information is so so useful. It shows just how useful Make it work online would really be.
Big thanks to you and your team!
Thanks, Lara! This is a mere fraction of what we do in MIWO! We get so much more specific and detailed, down the exact words, in the feedback you get on assignments in the program. (That’s why my clients get such incredible results!)
Here are three tips for your page:
First, I want you to focus on the solution (the results) you provide to clients. How do they feel, what do they get, and how are they different after they work with you? Here’s a post on that: https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Second, you need more copy. Elaborate more on their frustrations and desires. When you do so, avoid “coach speak” and into the language of your clients. It will help immensely for prospects to get how much you can help them. See this post for more info. https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Third, if you have sold a bunch of these big packages, run through this post for additional ideas for beefing up your offer at this price: https://jennyshih.com/2016/08/7-reasons-charging-premium-prices-completely-backfire-fix/
If you haven’t sold much at this price, I strongly suggest a bite-sized offer to help you get traction. More on that here: https://www.facebook.com/jennyshihpage/videos/953576294729852/
Have fun taking action!
Thanks so much, Jenny!
You’re so welcome, Lara!
Hi Jenny – Thanks so much for this offer! You rock! Here’s my work with me page:
Love that you added those steps in!
Here are my three items of feedback for you.
First, you need more copy! Elaborate more on their frustrations and desires. When you do so, avoid “coach speak” and into the language of your clients. It will help immensely for prospects to get how much you can help them. See this post for more info. https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Second, you’re going to cause problems for yourself in selling when you have one package + one “not package” where they can buy sessions at different rates. I’m a HUGE fan of packaging everything in a way that focuses on results. This is because you are the expert they are hiring to help them achieve a specific result — so you need to tell them it takes X sessions or Y months to achieve ABC.
This means you need to package your services into specific solutions. See this post:https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
And also watch this on bite-sized offers: https://www.facebook.com/jennyshihpage/videos/953576294729852/
Third, then put all of that on one long page so people see what you do and how you work and the different results you help them achieve.
You’ve got this!
Nice, Jenny. Thank you! Perfect timing, because I’ve finally niched down a bit, and I’m finishing up my site as we speak. I have a Work With Me page with more general info about all three of my offers. Then that links to my Three Month Coaching Package for self-employed women.
Thank you, thank you!
PS – I’d love for you to take a look at the three month package. Just wanted you to see the flow of things.
You got it!
I’ll give you pointers on that package, but I also want our work with me page to be about your clients first, not so much about you. Your about page is where you talk about you; your work with me is where you talk about them!
Then same thing for your offer copy. It has to be about them and what they need, want, and get. Not about you, what you do and what you give.
The next thing is that your copy is all about “logistics” and how you work — not what problem you solve and the solutions people get when working with you. See this post for what I mean: https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/questions-must-ask-youll-get-clients/
And this post about why to focus on the solutions, not the what (coaching). https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Also, for a price point like that, you will want to move to a consult model. Very few people will buy now for coaching program priced that high without talking with you first.
Here’s a video on that: https://www.facebook.com/jennyshihpage/videos/955436204543861/
And some other ideas on higher prices: https://jennyshih.com/2016/08/7-reasons-charging-premium-prices-completely-backfire-fix/
Hope this helps!
This helps a lot. Great to hear, because I’ve read both of those posts and felt like I was on the right track. Haha. Thank you! I’m excited to watch the video, because I didn’t think my prices were that high. I usually pay at least $1300-1500 to work with a coach for three months (thought that was standard?). So I thought I was starting off relatively low at $897. Do you have a price point that you recommend people start with? Thanks again!
Sorry for the confusion! Your pricing isn’t too high for 3 months. It’s fine. It’s just too high to do a “buy now” button without a consult. For prices above ~$399 or so, I recommend to clients that they plan to have a consult with a prospect to make sure they’re a good fit as a client and also to help close the sale. It’s not often that people spend more than that on a private coach they haven’t first connected with.
I hope that clears it up!
Ah ha, I gotcha. I do talk about a Discovery Session that’s kind of hidden down at the bottom of the page. I’ll make that more prominent. Just redid my Work with Me page, and it feels so much better now! 🙂 Think I’m definitely warmer. Thank you!
I had to check it out and it looks good!
Awesome, Hannah!
wow, Jenny!
Thank you so much. I’m new to your magical ways and appreciate being able to utilize them easily!
I’ve updated my work with me type page! Here’s the link: http://www.urbanutopiaphotography.com/#!/BOOK_A_SESSION/HOW_TO_BOOK_DANA
Now the magic happens, yes? 🙂
xo
Dana
Urban Utopia Photography
Crossing my fingers for magic!
First, do you have a flash-based site? You will definitely want to change that. I clicked the link above and only a white page showed up. Then I went to just your root domain and it was white. After waiting a short bit, then the page showed up. I then had issues clicking the work with me > book dana also.
This will definitely cut down on clients, so see if you can get on a simpler site that’s easy and fast to pull up on desktop and on mobile.
Second, you need more info. What are we hiring you for? What are your packages and rates?
Maybe that’s under your “sessions” section? In which case then have the “how to hire me steps” there as well. Like I’ve been suggesting to many women, having all of that on one page can really help. And it will be way easier for you to do this on a simpler website.
(I’m not usually one to say “you need a new site.” In fact, I usually tell people not to! But this flash site (or whatever it is) is really doing you a disservice.)
Third, when I flip through your different session options, your copy is okay. It could be stronger, but mostly, I want people to be able to connect with you and see how you work first — so those site changes will be key.
Thank you so much Jenny. I really appreciate all of your helpful tips in your emails and videos! When you’re just getting started out its so hard to figure out what to add to your website and there’s just so much information that it’s overwhelming. I will be removing the purchase buttons as my new vendor account does not work with Squarespace. Thank you so much for your valuable feedback! Kathy
You’re right, Kathy! It is so hard to know what to do, what matters when you’re new, and how to sort through it all!
You do a good job starting out with the copy addressing the reader. You use “you…” which is great. You touch on their frustrations, but you don’t talk about their dreams and desires. So that’s your first step. What do they want to create or achieve? Add that in, in their words.
Look here: https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/questions-must-ask-youll-get-clients/
Next, you have packages, but they’re defined by logistics more than desired results. Focus on the different results you create for people and then you, as the expert, tell them how to get them here. At most, have three packages.
https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Lastly, the package descriptions need to be less jargony and more focused on their words. https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
You have a good start. Time to take it to the next level!
Jenny!
Love this. Thank you so much… Working on my website right now and added it to my page at http://www.dotward.work/contact/.
Well you have the “how to hire me steps” in, so that’s a good start!
First, you need more copy! What do you do? What problems do you solve and for whom do you solve them? This means you need to package your services into specific solutions. See this post: https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
(I know you do design and hand lettering based on your logo, but you definitely need to spell it out!)
Second, you want to write copy that speaks to your clients’ frustrations and desires. When you do so, use the language of your clients. See this post for more info. https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Third, don’t be afraid to express yourself in words. On your site you say, “I’m not a woman of many written words,” and I’m guessing that’s more because you’re not yet comfortable writing. That will come with time and tons of practice. See this video on getting comfortable with new things: https://www.facebook.com/jennyshihpage/videos/1071719449582202/
I strongly suggest you blog, even if your blog is most images and some words. Here’s an example for you. Libby is a designer and illustrator but still uses words and graphics to connect with her audience: http://www.libbyco.com/
Keep up the good work!
Thanks Jenny! I really appreciate the feedback. Now back to work to implement all your great suggestions!
You’re welcome, Dottie! Way to take feedback and take action. You’re my kind of woman!
I don’t have my online scheduler set up JUST yet (in the process!) but am hoping to do so soon. In the meantime, I added your language and tweaked it to fit my current situation (using good ol-fashioned phone and email). You can find my page here: https://ompowermentpsych.com/work-with-me/
Way to dive right in, Nikolai!
First, you need copy! What do you do? What problems do you solve and for whom do you solve them? This means you need to package your services into specific solutions. See this post: https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
(I can see you are a psychotherapist but we need more info!)
Second, you want to write copy that speaks to your clients’ frustrations and desires. When you do so, use the language of your clients. See this post for more info. https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Third, I’d suggest combining your WHO, HOW, and WORK pages into one. Done well, with the copy tips (blog posts linked here), you can cover all of your bases in one comprehensive page.
Here’s one more post for you to reference: https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/questions-must-ask-youll-get-clients/
Have fun taking action!
Thanks for the feedback. I will check out those posts 🙂
You’re welcome, Nikolai!
I used your template for my new and improved offer of Discover Your Signature Color. It’s really the first step of working with me and I will be promoting it–and building on it–in the coming months. http://tabithadumas.com/discover-your-signature-color/
Hi Tabitha!
First, you need copy! What do you do? What problems do you solve and for whom do you solve them? This means you need to package your services into specific solutions. See this post: https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
(I can see you are a stylist but we need more info!)
Second, when you write your copy (you need it even if you have it in a video — some people like to read over watch), write copy so it speaks to your clients’ frustrations and desires. Use the language of your clients. See this post for more info. https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Third, I’d suggest narrowing your offers down to three and reducing the size of the images. It’s really hard on a small laptop to see the page, and when I scroll through I just see images and not enough text. You also need stronger descriptions on your main page.
Hope that helps. Have fun taking action!
P.S. This is my “work with me” page as it stands now. I really love doing all of them…and I need to add a closet/wardrobe consult…but I’m not sure how to make it more user-friendly. Any and all feedback would be much appreciated!
(I love how I misspelled my own name above….)
Hi Jenny, thanks for the great info! I really love how actionable & easy this is. And I love seeing all the other people’s pages. The step by step process is really a pleasure to read.
I’m going to implement this as soon as possible. Before I do, I have a quick question: I’m a photographer who helps bloggers and entrepreneurs have/make better photos for their websites. I do it for them or they can learn it. Those are two very different markets and kinds of people, so I have two different pages with different copy & optin-options.
This works really well and I could make two different step by step copy, no problem. But I would love to put some of this on my homepage or in my about/contact page. I’m afraid it’s getting too vague if I try to combine them.
(my website is in Dutch, but I think you’ll get the point)
Hi Heleen! I actually disagree that this are two different markets and kinds of people. They all have the same basic problem and want the same end result; you just help each group get there differently.
When you narrow down to the root problem/frustration and the end goal/result/desire, I bet you’ll see that they’re not that different and speaking to them both might not be so hard.
I help a lot of my MIWO clients see this — your situation is really common. It’s hard to see it from your shoes because you see what you do with clients and how differently you do what you do for each group. But from an outsider or marketing perspective, it’s the same.
Can you see that?
Hmmm, interesting. It’s true, they want the same thing. The biggest difference is that one group reads my blog,while the other one just want to see my work and then book me. But they begin with the same problem, that’s true, I have done my research for that and it turns out that way. So that means starting with the same root problem and then leading them into two different scenario’s wouldn’t it?
You would be perfect example of when it’s okay to have two “buttons” on your Work With Me page, one that leads people to one package and another that leads them to the other. (I talked about this in yesterday’s FB live. You were there, right?)
So your top copy would summarize what you do and who you help and how. Then you’d have short descriptions of the packages and take people to the right page for what they want.
Make sense?
Thanks Jenny, this really helps. I’ll put the link here when I finish the Page 🙂
Hi Jenny. Love your suggestions, it makes so much sense. Your comments on my page(s) would be really appreciated (this link is really just my ‘Contact Me’ page, the link to it being ‘How we can help’).
Marion, You’re the only person who I think can get away with having the steps on a different page than the services page because you did a good job integrating the “contact us” link on your services page. That said, it’s not my preferred approach (I like the steps directly on the services page), but that can be a personal decision.
Feedback for your Services page:
Your work is very straightforward (as compared to, say a life coach whose work might be a little harder to define). It’s pretty clear who you help and how.
That said, it think there’s always room to get more into the heads and hearts of your target client, talking more directly to their frustrations and why they want to hire you for your services. Right now you talk about what you do very matter-of-factly or logistically. This is good, AND you can really show people that you “get” them when you use more emotional or descriptive language.
Check out these two posts for ideas:
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/questions-must-ask-youll-get-clients/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
The service that’s most unclear to me is “quality management.” I’m obviously not in this field, so I don’t know if that terminology and what you do for it are obvious to your target client. That would be worth definitely revisiting to see if they know what you mean and how it helps them.
The other thing I’d have you look at is the order of services listed on the page. Are they listed in the order of most commonly requested at the top and least commonly requested at the bottom? Sometimes people skim quickly, so make sure that the ones you highlight at the top (with photos) are the most sought after. This will help people really see that you’re focused on what they need.
I hope this helps! Have fun taking action!
Thanks so much Jenny for your great suggestions, they’re really appreciated. I’ll have a look at those points. Talking matter-of-factly – probably down to us reserved British types! I’ll try and change the language a bit!
Sounds great, Marion! I love how open you are to feedback. Have fun taking action!
Jenny,
I just added the copy to my Work With Me page. I actually have a products page with buy buttons, but I wasn’t sure where I should put the work with me content, so I added it to my Web Design page and changed the name to Work With Me. I’m launching this new website, so my blog and portfolio aren’t quite done yet, but both will be soon.
Thank you!
Hi Ericka!
Here are three tips for you.
First, I want to see copy that describes what you do and what this package is. Right now, the copy at the top is all about your philosophy and what DIWY means. I have to wade through “your words” before I see anything about your target client and what they need. So definitely start with copy about them as it relates to the offer.
Second, as you do that, be sure to look closely at the language your clients are using, really focusing on their frustrations and desires. Here are two posts on that:
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/questions-must-ask-youll-get-clients/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Lastly, define the package. What exactly is included? What do they get as an end product? There’s a lot I’d want to know as a prospect before hopping on the phone with you.
I hope that helps! Have fun taking action!
Jenny (and team)-
First, I just want to thank you for being so generous with your time and knowledge. I am new to your teachings, but I can see right away that you practice what you teach, and I am so grateful.
Your advice for my Work-With-Me page was wonderful. I read through all the other comments and posts on this thread, read through your Make It Work Online page, looked at others sites and read the posts you recommended and then made extensive changes to my page.
I know it is so much better, and I have so much more confidence, which is priceless. If you have time to take another look, that would be lovely!
Hi Ericka! (This feedback is all me, no team, though you’re welcome to love them as much as I do!)
Holy mackerel that’s a mega improvement! Nice work!
Now we get into the nuances that are harder to explain and correct in a blog comment 🙂 (This is why we dive in with every client in MIWO and give them word-by-word feedback on their copy — the details are super important!)
Two things to make it stronger.
First, more client language, even less jargon. You’re way better, and I’ve never had a client who didn’t need to go through multiple rounds of feedback to get it just right. 🙂
Second, I want you to add in “components.” I’ll talk about this on today’s live training. The components (as I call them) help to easily prove the value of your offer.
Lastly, and not a requirement but something to consider, is posting your pricing. I personally post my pricing almost always and recommend my clients do the same (it makes selling them on the phone way easier!). However, if you have killer sales skills and can convert on the phone like the best of them, ignore this advice!
Hope to see you non the training today so you can take things even further.
High five for massive action taking. The changes you made take big brain work, and it says so much about you that you took action on that feedback (a quality of my most successful MIWO clients!).
Hi Jenny,
I’ve been hard at work on my Work With Me page adding components and nixing jargon (I hope!) since watching the Facebook videos. I’ve also added photos, testimonials, etc. to the page. Can you take a quick peek and let me know if there is anything glaring I still need to work on? I know it won’t be perfect until I can join MIWO, but I’m shooting for good before I launch this new website.
Thank you!
I love that you’re taking action! I’m now turning my attention to my MIWO clients, so I won’t be giving the same level of feedback here at this time. Just know I’m cheering you on!!
I completely understand, Jenny. Thanks for all you’ve done thus far!
Love it Ericka! I haven’t seen your page before the feedback, but I love the last.
Heleen,
Thank you so much for taking a look at my page and for your compliment. I’ve done a ton of work since you left this comment. I’d love your feedback on the improvements if you have time and inclination to take a peek. I’m glad to reciprocate.
Well, Heleen. I guess I can’t reciprocate too much … I went to your website and I cannot read it, LOL. I can tell you that it is visually stunning! Love it!
Hi Jenny! I have put this lovely template on my work with me page over here. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Hi Olivia!
You’ve done a lot of things right with your copy. Nice work!!
And we can always improve, so here are three things to take you further.
First, I see that you do hypnobirthing and doula services. On your work with me page, I’m not clear what I’m hiring you for. For example, are you teaching me hypnobirthing or are you working as my doula or both or something else? Can I pick and choose or is it “one size fits all?”
You need to clearly spell out the specific package(s) you offer to your clients.
Second, this is actually a small thing, is you want to make your paragraphs shorter. On the web, it’s difficult to read long paragraphs. Our eyes easily mix up the lines. Have a maximum of three sentences per paragraph. That will make it way more readable.
Third, under step #2, you have “coaching.” But I’m guessing you want it to say “working” instead 🙂
Alright, back to you to take these next action steps!
Hi Jenny,
Thank you so much for your feedback – so lovely that you have been doing this.
I have made some changes based on your comments – shortened paragraphs and made it clear that you can hire me for group or private hypnobirthing teaching or as your doula – if I am your doula then it is your choice whether you want to add in hypnobirthing or not.
Should I explain these options in more detail on the Work With Me page if they each have their own page or link to the right pages from within the copy do you think?
Very best wishes,
Olivia
You definitely want more copy. Check out the videos (linked at the bottom of the post above) that walks you through the copy template for a great offer. I think it will help a ton!
Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much! This has been very helpful and so lovely that you are helping so many of us here!
Hi Jenny – the template is amazing and so straightforward! I just updated my About page to incorporate it. Already knowing the process in my head, it is so easy to forget that a client may have questions for how to get started, but now know who/how/where to ask. Thank you for helping me to recognize that!
Lindsay – I’d love to have you put this on your “work with Lindsay” page. After all, that’s where people will be looking at how you work and will need to know, from that page, the next steps to getting started with you.
As far as your work with me page, here are three tips to make it stronger.
I suggest you start by summarizing what you do and who you help in a few sentences. It shouldn’t be “I do X and I do Y,” but more the overall, high-level things you help client achieve. This way people will know they’re in the right place.
Then say something like this: “I work with clients in two ways. First, I work as an OBM. Second, as a consultant.” Then explain those briefly.
(All of this should be better written, of course. I’m just giving you the general idea.)
Then describe your OBM services. Make it less about the logistics and more about the struggles the clients have and the end results they experience in working with you. This is just like the “packages” I suggested to many people above.
Then, describe your other services. Those should be “packaged” as well.
I hope this helps! Stay tuned for the live workshop tomorrow. I think that will help you a ton as well!
Wow Jenny – that’s amazing! I often feel too close to things like web copy to be able to see these should-have known changes (it is what I help clients will after all). I will totally take your recommendations and implement the changes on the my site this week. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
You’re so very welcome, Lindsay! That’s why getting feedback is so important. We can’t always see our stuff well (even if we know better), because we’re so deep in it.
Have fun taking action!
Hi Jenny,
The link to my Work With Me page is below. I am still finalizing my website so any suggestions would be much appreciated. I work with motivated women who want to finally have a career that they really love and actually fits with their lifestyle perfectly through flexible /alternative work solutions and strategies.
Thank you for your help!
Rachel
Happy to help!
First, we definitely want make your Work With Me and Coaching pages one in the same. (I know your site is still in process, so it’s possible that’s in your plans. Covering it just in case.)
For your coaching page copy…
You start out your copy okay with “You” statements. That’s good. Take it further. Instead of the larger, short quotes, use more, longer descriptions that explain who you work with and how you help them. (Similar to the feedback I gave Lindsay above.)
Then for your packages, see if you can more strongly focus them on results. Dive into the you solve and for whom you solve them. Talk about the results that package will help clients achieve. See this post: https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
And as you write your copy, really focus on your clients’ language. See this post for more info. https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
At the bottom of the page, put the copy that I have in this post (that you put on your work with me page).
Have fun taking action!
Thank you Jenny! I made the updates and would love to hear what you think.
Thank you so much again for your help and awesome advice!
Another holy mackerel! Way to go with taking the feedback and working on your copy. Nicely done, Rachel!!
Now we get into the nuances that are harder to explain and correct in a blog comment, same as Ericka above (And again why we dive in with every client in MIWO and give them word-by-word feedback on their copy — the details are super important!)
Two things to make it stronger.
First, the copy at the top describing their struggles is FABULOUS. Well done! I want to also see some desires/ end results/ outcomes covered in there. What positive things are they looking for — which is the ultimate reason they’re hiring you (to go from negative to positive).
Second, you need way more copy for each package. The tools don’t tell me what really makes on package different from the other. You need to use more descriptive language — like you did at the top — for these packages so I get that they’ll help me (as a viewer) get what I want.
Hope to see you on the training today, so you can keep this going even further!
Bravo for your action taking. Well done! (You’d be an amazing MIWO client!) <3
Hi Jenny! Such great timing! I’m just starting to take clients again and I’m reworking my Work With Me page. Any insights you can help me with will increase my own inner peace as I put myself out into the world again! I added your steps, thanks so much!!!
Hi Trisha!
I know what you mean about getting feedback and support to put yourself out into the world. I’m happy to help!
Here are there things for you:
1. I suggest smaller font. It’s really hard to copy read when font is too big or too large. Consider about 13, 14, 15 pt font for your body copy.
2. Work through using more client language and less jargon to explain what you do, who you help, and what you help them achieve. See this post for more info. https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
3. You cover a lot of “logistics” in your copy. (First, you’ll get this. Then you’ll get the meditation. Etc). Although that’s good, it changes the copy focus to be more about the logistics and less about the solutions you help people achieve. You do have some solution focus (it’s not absent like in some of the examples above), but you could make it even stronger.
And I also will add that I don’t want you to take out the logistical components, I simply want you to present them in a different way. I’ll talk about that on today’s live workshop, so I hope you can make it! (Or watch the replay!)
Keep up the good work. You’re off to a fantastic start!
Okay I did everything you said for both of my sites :
http://www.femininewisdomacademy.com/discovery-session.html
Feedback is welcome! I think this helped me a lot actually and I hope will create more clarity for my clients–I think it was confusing before I made the changes 🙂
Sincerely,
Morgan Taylor
Hi Morgan!
The thing that pops up first is that you need copy! We need to know what you do and how you help people before we’re ready to schedule a consult.
This means you will need to focus on explaining solution you provide to clients. How do they feel, what do they get, and how are they different after they work with you? Here’s a post to get some wheels turning for you. https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Once you define that solution, provide a “packaged” solution to help them achieve that specific result. Maybe that’s three months to help them do X or one session to help them accomplish Y. Right now, you talk about what you do, which is good, but people are looking to buy solutions, so that’s what we need to market. This post will elaborate a bit on this idea. https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
Thirdly, as you write copy, really get into your clients’ language. Here are two posts on that:
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/copy-mistake-thats-killing-sales/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
I’m cheering you on!
Hi, Jenny!
Thanks so much for doing this 🙂
Here is my page:
Again, many thanks,
Llyane
Hi Llyane! Here are my three tips for you!
1. Move away from so many bullets to using paragraphs; and go from two columns to one.
It’s our job as business owners to make reading our sites as easy as possible so visitors don’t have to “work hard” to understand what we do and how we can help them. With your current page layout, my eyes jump all over the place and aren’t sure where to land. That can be improved by using one wide column and paragraphs instead of bullets and two columns.
2. Define the packages based on your clients’ words about their frustrations and desires as opposed to the “logistics” of the packages as you have now.
I talked a lot about this in the FB live yesterday. (Links are above, at the bottom of the blog post.)
3. Then as you write your package descriptions, really strive to use client language and not jargon. Here are two posts on that: https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/copy-mistake-thats-killing-sales/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Have fun taking action!
Hi Jenny,
I’ve put the how it works on both individual sessions and packages. My Work with Me is divided into those two areas.
https://www.mindbodygreen.com
Thank you for doing this!
Dilshad
Hi Dilshad!
Move the “logistics” to the bottom of the page.
Second, like we talked about in the FB live training yesterday, explain why the “components” are valuable to your clients, using their words. That will really “sell” them that what you do and what’s included in the package will help them get the results they’re looking for.
Thanks for the advice! Always looking for ways to improve.
You’re welcome, Taryn! Love your attitude!
This is awesome. I forgot to post here to tell you that on the day you shared this, I was just adding Acuity scheduling to my website so that clients can now book their own appointments. I added “Steps” copy to my new appointments page and plan to create a Work with me page featuring all of the other ways you can work with me, each with their own steps! THANK YOU! See you on the live call today!
New Appointments page on my website: http://www.treetrunkwiseyoga.com/appointments/
Great live stream today– Thank you!
I commented with a question, but we ran out of time. Probably better to post it here anyway, so you can look at my site and give any ideas on organization. Thank you for your time and energy!
From Facebook Live today:
“I offer a number of different healing sessions (think “spa menu”) and I’m still not sure the best way to arrange my site. I have a page for each TYPE of offering (yoga, reiki, tarot, etc) with more details on each page AND I just added Acuity to my site on an appointments page WITH your step by step copy to hire me! I’d love some feedback about what else to do!”
Great question! Your spa menu example is perfect. I get what you mean.
I’m a bit stuck on giving you an answer without asking you a bunch of other questions first. (This is why coaching clients is so powerful — we can get to the heart of YOUR business and unique situation. Something we just can’t do in blog post comments.)
There are a few ways you can arrange it and it depends on the various “menu items” you offer, how they work together on your site, what clients love about working with you, what you prefer doing, etc. (So many things!)
The main things for you to think about are:
* what do people come to you for
* what do you want to be known for
* how do you prefer to work with people
* what do you see as the long-term vision for your biz
Your answers to those kinds of questions will point you in the direction of rearranging, but like I said, we really would need to “talk it out” to get you the best right answer for you.
(Have you considered applying to MIWO? You’d be an amazing client to work with!)
Jenny,
These are really great questions– thank you for the prompts. After the live call yesterday, I did find myself wondering about completely reorganizing the way I work with people. This is my 4th year in business, so that has already gone through some iterations, each time bringing me closer to what is a better fit for me and what I think is a more unique offering/style. But yesterday, I find myself doing it again, but in a bigger “What If?” kind of way.
A note about my website menu: It started out as an offerings tab, with each offering showing on a drop down, but I didn’t like that my home page didn’t really show any of those offerings to new visitors– I didn’t want them to have to poke around to find out what I do. I am still struggling to make my homepage stronger, more informative and engaging. I recently did a website redesign, but didn’t get enough custom elements working for me to meet my idea of what would be a stellar homepage.
I am honored that you feel I’d be a good fit for MIWO– I know you are selective! Thanks! 🙂
I always say, “Clarity comes from taking action.”
Both your years in business and thinking about practical things like website layout (acton-taking) are raising questions that will drive you to greater clarity.
One of my favorite things to help clients with is nail down what makes them and their experience unique and special, so we can pivot their business to focus on their genius zone. This helps them love their businesses more, it also helps them make more money and make a bigger impact on the world.
Keep up the forward movement!
Yes, Thank you! That was an unexpected insight yesterday during the live call, when I realized that I’ve rebranded to focus more on that genius zone, but I haven’t changed the WAY I offer my services to reflect that– or to allow for the best results from that! Thank you again! Such a pleasure to be working through all of this with your guidance!
Jenny here is my offers site as it stands right now.
To fill in a few gaps: I’m expanding my brand vision this year and working on a full rebrand. Instead of a personal brand I’ll be ‘Recapture Self: A Community For Creative Moms’. I’ll have a membership community model. My offers will be: join the membership community, take a live class, 1:1 coaching, once per year retreat. They will each be offered ‘live’ once per year (but will be available within the membership community as a self-study download).
As a work on the re-brand process and how I want to lay out my pages this is topic is totally top of mind because I’ve never felt my classes/offers are effectively conveyed on my site. Thanks for any feedback/suggestions you have!
Love your site! I’ll have to keep an eye out for your re-brand. I just did one recently and I love it– but I feel like there are always so many new insights and so much more to do! This topic (how to arrange offerings) feels like it’s Always in progress!
–Rachael
treetrunkwiseyoga.com
Thank you Rachael for your kind words! I love my site too – but I’m feeling the nudges to expand. 😉 So off I go…
Thanks for posting here, Beryl! Congrats on all of the traction you’ve had in your business. It’s been so fun to watch you expand and grow and reach more women. <3
I think you are at a point in your business where you are an exception to my "all on one page" rule 🙂
You could go about this in one of two ways.
First, you could have a navigation item for each thing you offer. Or second, you could have one "work with me" page that summarizes each offer and takes people to separate pages for those -- like I do on my page.
Your offers are distinct enough that people will be able to self-select their right option.
How does this sound to you? What other questions do you have?
(And thanks for coming yesterday! So great seeing you there! And thank you for redirecting the group after the FB malfunction!)
My whole website is a work in progress – I started at the beginning of June so I’m still tweaking things to get them just right! carouselatelier.com
Hi Christine. I’m happy to offer a review of your work with me page, but I’m not seeing one there.
Did you implement the copy listed in the post above? Which page is it on?
Add a reply here, and I’ll pop over and take a look at that whole page.
How embarrassing! I guess it helps to actually make it a live update! Sorry about that…here it is:
Jenny, you are brilliant! I just finished listening to How to Write a Killer Work With Me page webinar and my head is spinning (in a good way) I am a web designer/developer who in my secret heart of hearts wants to help people bring their business to life via simple yet beautiful websites. Here is the link to my work with me page: http://lovedeepdesign.com/what-to-expect I would love feedback … (I will be working on fleshing out each bullet point )
Last week after reading this post, I realize that this entire process needs a rework and atarted by changing the nav menu to reflect what clients are looking for … today I learned a how to do it. Very excited by that! Thank you!
So glad you were able to make the workshop yesterday, Deborah! Sounds like you got a ton out of it (that was my goal!), and it’s also given you clarity about your business direction. Yay!
I have very similar feedback for you as I did for Ericka.
First, I want to see copy that describes what you do and what this package is. You just right to “is this right for you” before telling me what “it” actually is. Tell me what the offer actually is. What exactly is included? What do they get as an end product? There’s a lot I’d want to know as a prospect before hopping on the phone with you.
Second, as you do that, be sure to look closely at the language your clients are using, really focusing on their frustrations and desires. Here are two posts on that:
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/questions-must-ask-youll-get-clients/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Third, like I have in the copy in this blog post above, use “steps” — literally, Step 1, Step 2, etc. People love the reassurance that brings.
Alright! Back to you for implementation!
Jenny,
Thank you for taking the time to look at my Work With Me page!! This is ridiculously helpful in streamlining and fine tuning to meet the needs of my visitors and future clients!
Thank you as well for your content rich and highly actionable blog posts!
Can’t wait to implement these suggestions.
Thanks Jenny – I made the changes you suggested.
Awesome, Heather!
You’ve done a good job on your copy so far. You start out strong, following a lot of the suggestions I gave above around a summary of what you do and who you help — in paragraphs and in their language. Nicely done!
From there, here are my additional suggestions for you.
First, don’t emphasize “life coaching.” Like I talked about on yesterday’s live workshop, you don’t want to talk about your “process” or the “how” of what you do. People aren’t buying life coaching; they’re buying the end result. You need to explain what that is (in their words).
After you eliminate the emphasis on life coaching, you’ll want to then fill in the gaps. Meaning you’ll need to emphasize the “solution” you provide, or the end result clients want. And also use their words to do that.
Here are some posts that will help:
https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/questions-must-ask-youll-get-clients/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Then, you want to work on your “components.” (I covered this in the live training yesterday. It’s a lot to explain in a blog comment.) This will really show people how much you help them and “sell them” on your offer and how awesome it is.
If you missed the workshop, definitely watch it! The links are above at the bottom of the blog post. It will help a ton with everything I’m sharing here.
Have fun taking action!
Hey Jenny
You always over-deliver and offer insightful, actionable advice.
I have my process outlined on my Work With Me page, but they don’t actually have “step 1”, “step 2″…does that matter?
http://www.brightsparkwebsitedesign.com/web-design-services/
Looking fwd to your tips 🙂
cheers, Angelique
Hi Angelique!
Yes, I believe that saying “step 1, step 2” does matter. When we lay things out so undeniably clear for people, it makes taking the next steps (like scheduling a consult) much easier for them. And it’s our job to take care of prospects!
I want to see the steps on your work with me page, right there where you talk about what you do. Right now you have it take me to your contact page. And I don’t know what happens after I email you. The more clear and easy and reassuring you can make it for prospects to hire you, the more likely they are to say YES!
So you first step is to get these things on your work with me page.
Second, you have a lot going on on your page. If your clients are in any way a little timid, then you want to make them feel like you’re holding their hand through the process. (However, if your clients are confident with tech and know what they need, then you can disregard this comment.)
Look at how you can present your packages in a more streamlined fashion. You reference them a few times, but I can’t really tell (easily) how they differ than price. This will make people always choose the less expensive one.
Like I talked about on the live training yesterday (links above in the blog post if you missed it), you need to clearly define the packages for your clients in their language so they know what’s right for them.
This is done both with words and format.
Third, I’d move the DIY course to it’s own page. You can take HOME out of your navigation and make the header logo clickable, and that will give you a slot for that course.
Let me know if you have questions about any of this!
Hi Jenny- I have made some changes to my work with me page and just want to make sure I’m on the right track? I know we will totally go over this in MIWO but wanted to get started. Is my copy on this page looking better? Additional thoughts and suggestions?
Way to follow through, Jo Anna! I love action-taking clients!
Yes, you are totally on track.
I have a question for you: other than the age of the baby, what’s the difference between the packages? I’m thinking you could probably make them only one package which would make things so much clearer for your clients.
Thanks Jenny! I just added it into my work with me pages. Here’s one of them:
http://suzyrosenstein.com
Hey Suzy! Start with the offer template! Then hop over to our group because when you add you copy to a doc, we can all leave you way more detailed comments than we can here. 🙂
Hi Jenny, I read this blog post then I watched your facebook live. Funnily enough, I’d started to write my Work With Me page the morning you sent out the email about your FB live so perfect timing. Anyway, I’ve really tried to incorporate everything you have said in these two amazing resources (and can’t thank you enough for providing them). This is my Work With Me page – I’d love to know what you think!
Lucy.
Hi Lucy! Happy to give you feedback!
Here are three things to make it stronger.
1. You don’t need your photo there, or at least not so large. Your offer page should be about your clients, not about you, and the photo of you (esp when it’s so large), change the emphasis in the wrong direction.
2. Along those same lines, there’s a lot of “I” sentences in your copy alongside your picture. You have the right idea about covering what they want, but you want to say them in “You” sentences. A small change like that can really help people feel seen, heard, and understood — which is what will make them hire you!
The second section in your copy has more “You” sentences, so that’s great.
3. In your bulleted section, you talk a bit about logistics and use a bit of jargon. Those are two things you’ll want to resolve.
You can look at these posts to help with jargon:
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/questions-must-ask-youll-get-clients/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
Watch this video workshop to help with the logistics and what I call “components”:
Part 1: https://www.facebook.com/jennyshihpage/videos/1080415022045978/
Part 2: https://www.facebook.com/jennyshihpage/videos/1080415022045978/
Overall, you’ve got a fantastic start on your copy. These tips will make it even stronger.
Thanks Jenny! These are really useful comments. Would you suggest not having any visuals then? I added the photo to break up the text a bit really.
Jenny – first THANK YOU SO MUCH. This has been super helpful! I actually have two pages – I know that you said to just have one but for some reason combining them just makes the page feel way too long to me! The first one is my BOS.
The second one has my other two coaching options and it is here.
I’ve been watching your videos and reading the emails and putting everything I’ve learned into these pages. I plan to launch my online coaching business mid-September (using a lot of the ideas in your 21 Ways To Get Clients) and I just cannot thank you enough!
Hi Graeme!
I’m definitely a fan of longer pages with multiple offers than multiple pages each with their own offer. Check out the live workshop I did on FB; it’s one of the things I covered. (Not sure if you saw that, but I’m going to reference several things I mentioned during it.)
Part 1: https://www.facebook.com/jennyshihpage/videos/1080415022045978/
Part 2: https://www.facebook.com/jennyshihpage/videos/1080415022045978/
With your first offer, you did a good job starting with YOU language and outlining the components like I talked about in the workshop. At the same time, you definitely need more copy. A few paragraphs that really say “You are” and “You feel” and “You want” in their exact words will convey that you get them and can help with exactly what they want help with.
For your second offer, you need way more copy. In general, the copy length should be proportional with the price. So the same ideas I mentioned above would apply here, such as starting with stronger YOU language and outlining the components (as it’s valuable to them, in their eyes). You also really need to drive home the results they’ll get in working with you.
Here are some posts that will help:
https://jennyshih.com/2013/02/why-you-shouldnt-sell-coaching-and-what-to-sell-instead/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/questions-must-ask-youll-get-clients/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
You’ve got a good start. Now it’s time to take it to the next level!
THANK YOU JENNY!
I took the plunge and I’ve spent some serious time this weekend working on my page. Yes, I said page – I combined them.
I think that the page is much better now. Before I burn out on looking at it I’m stepping away for a bit. I’m sure there are areas where I can improve it even more, but my eyes are starting to cross.
If you have a moment to take another look I’d really appreciate it. If not, that’s okay – I’m going to come back to it with fresh eyes once a week for a while. Next level, here I come!
Way to take action!!!
Thanks for this clarity, Jenny! I’ve implemented your instructions on all 3 of my offers pages, and here’s one I’d be grateful to have your feedback on.
Thanks so much!
Hi Jo!
You’ve definitely incorporated several of the things I talk about, so you’re off to a good start!
Here ar three tips to make it even stronger.
1. In the beginning of your copy, you use “You” to address their challenges. This is great. I want you to then add a paragraph that’s also “You” that talks about the end results they want.
2. Under the section called “transformation” — are those your words or theirs? (I’m guessing they’re yours.) Your copy should be exclusively focused on THEIR words. Check out these posts:
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/questions-must-ask-youll-get-clients/
https://jennyshih.com/2016/06/jargon-trap-reason-prospects-arent-turning-paying-clients-change-fast/
3. You did a good job taking the input around “components.” To make that copy stronger, include why they should actually care, again in their words. You have to sell them on why that component will help them get their desired end result. You have a good start — this final bit is hard!
Keep it up! You’re getting there!
Hey Jenny!
I signed up for your free 4-part training series and very much appreciate all that you shared! I really wish I was able to sign up for MIWO but I’m unable to at this time. I didn’t have my website up during the video training, so I was hoping you could take a look at it now. Any feedback you have would be greatly appreciated 🙂 Thanks so much!
http://www.coachkir.com
Hi Kristin – Looks like you didn’t add the copy from this blog post. That’s a must!
Sorry about that! Copy added! 🙂
I love that you’re taking action! I’m now turning my attention to my MIWO clients, so I won’t be giving the same level of feedback here at this time. Everyone makes the same 5-ish mistakes, so if you read through the comments above and the videos listed at the end of the blog post, I guarantee you’ll see the changes you’ll need to make in you copy. Keep up the action-taking!
I get high on being around smart people, and YOU are brilliant, Jenny! I am SO grateful I found you. Done and done.
Thank you, Jenny. I used these steps for my new group program for women going through breakup, separation or divorce. I appreciate you and all your help. http://www.lifecoachforwomen.com. My website is still under construction, but I created a temp page to market the program until the site is ready later this month.
I love that you’re taking action! Although I’m no longer giving individual feedback on pages, everyone generally makes one or all of the same 5 mistakes. Read through the comments above and the videos listed at the end of the blog post, and if there are any final edits for you to make, they’ll be listed there.
Keep up the action-taking and best of luck with your website launch!
Jenny, I’d never thought about giving a step-by-step outline of how to work with me before. But it makes so much sense! Of COURSE I want hiring me to as un-intimidating as possible.
I tweaked the copy-and-paste text for my own Work with Me page and read through some of the comments above, too. Thanks for this!
Woohoo!! Way to take action!
Hi Jenny,
I found you on FEA and loved your masterclass. I have been procrastinating for so long and getting overwhelmed with everything that I kinda gave up there for a while. I watched your masterclass in FEA and it re-sparked my passion inside. I am a postpartum coach and was struggling to figure out how to create a program that would support women but I was offering services that just didn’t really work. I have now really niched down to creating a birth & postpartum planning service so that I am able to help women be prepared, be confident and birth their way. I want to eventually create courses. My issue is I am not very good at expressing in words what I do and offer, I’m better at talking 1:1. I have lost my confidence a little too as I’ve been working so much on my website and floundering, to be honest. I am now ready to take the plunge. I have created a BSO and would love it if you could have a look and let me know your feedback. Thank you so much for making me realise how much I love my work, just not a fan of marketing lol…
I’m glad you found your way here from my class and it inspired you.
I often suggest to folks that they TALK to REAL LIVE PEOPLE who need their services to learn more about what words to use. By talking to people, you’ll learn the words they use and in turn can use those in your copy. Also, the more you do this, the more you’ll learn. You’ll get a client here and there, and their words will inform your copy. Then you’ll get more clients, and their words will help … and on and on.