I was thinking about you the other day. About how some days our enthusiasm supports us in doing the hard things, facing the big challenges, and keeping going no matter what stands in our way.
And how other days, there isn’t a drop of motivation to get us moving even the tiniest bit.
This came to mind recently after I got some disappointing news about my health. Nothing catastrophic or life-threatening, just disappointing.
You may know my Lyme story, but in case you don’t here’s the three-sentence version:
My health started to decline in early 2010, and after tons of misdiagnoses, in July 2013, a doc pinpointed chronic Lyme disease and a host of other issues. I got way worse before the Lyme was gone, and once it was gone, my body was toast. It took several years to regain my health, and although I’m much better, I’m still not 100%.
Unlike when I was sick, my brain now runs full-tilt, I can get through every work day without issue, and my drive to serve clients and fulfill my mission is stronger than ever.
But I’m still not as strong and energetic as I was before I got sick, and I’m determined to get all the way there.
Earlier this year, I received a new diagnosis, and I’ve been actively working to heal it. Late last month, I took a test which I was hoping would indicate I’ve made it to the other side.
Unfortunately, the opposite news came.
When it did, as our irrational brains often do, mine instantly went to, “I’ll never get better. I can’t live like this. This so unfair.”
Fortunately, I know better than to let my brain stay there for more than 30 seconds. So I had a good, long cry in my husband’s arms until all the sadness of the moment cleared out.
Despite that, throughout the day, I could see my brain wanting to go to the doom and gloom story it’s been practicing for nearly nine years. When I was my sickest, I rehearsed it over and over, worrying that my constantly aching body would always hurt, my energy would always be in the toilet, and my ability to do the physical activities I love would never return.
I practiced that story so well that it rutted a deep groove in my brain, and I can pop back to it effortlessly.
The good news is, I also practiced three other stories—and I practiced these more than my story of doom and gloom:
- Acceptance: I can learn to live with this as my new normal.
- Belief: I believe I can get all the way better.
- Commitment: I will do everything I can to fully heal.
Since I practiced these stories of hope, I can also pop back to them readily, though it does take some deliberate effort to do so. (This is because brains are biased towards gloom and doom stories.)
Yes, I can accept this as my new normal, AND I believe I can get better, AND I commit to doing everything in my power to fully heal.
All three are required: Acceptance + Belief + Commitment.
And that’s what made me think of you.
This is the same set of beliefs we must have as we work to grow our businesses.
It starts by not letting the doom and gloom stories run the show. We must not give them air time in our own heads. It’s okay to ignore the shit that your mind spews at you—it’s just fear, not the truth.
Then we must step through the ABC stories.
Acceptance of our current reality and acceptance that we might not get what we want.
As Kute Blackson says in his book YOU. ARE. THE. ONE.…
“Some people think acceptance is weak. … No. Acceptance is the most powerful thing in the world. Because when you accept something as it is, you open up to the possibility that there might be a better way trying to emerge. Acceptance allows you to look for the intelligence of the universe at work.”
Still resistant to accepting circumstances you don’t like? I understand how it feels. Let’s look at it more practically.
We all only have so much time, energy, and attention to use up every day. Do you want to put yours toward fighting the unchangeable reality of this very moment? Or would you rather put it towards believing and taking action on the future you want to create?
Full acceptance of the current moment frees up time, energy, and attention so you can move into the next step: Believing what you want is possible.
When you start to focus on belief, you can start to see that what you want—or something better—is possible, and believe it so deeply that it feels like a fact.
This is how I felt about healing from Lyme disease. Despite the countless stories you’ll read about “how you can never heal from Lyme,” I flat out refused to believe them even the tiniest bit. Fun fact: I’ve been free of Lyme symptoms since 2015.
Once we’re armed with acceptance + belief, we then commit to trying new things, taking tons of action, being willing to try a million things that fail to find the million-and-one thing that works.
From that place, our world starts to shift.
Often not right way. Not quickly. Not necessarily easily, either. Our belief and resilience will often be tested.
No one promised achieving our end goal would be easy, so drop that story that it should have happened already or shouldn’t be this hard. (That’s resistance to reality.)
This means the moment you spot your mind spewing that BS, which is something it will do relentlessly, go back to the magic three: acceptance + belief + commitment.
My health, your business, and any other goals you have set. They are possible, but you have to do these three things to get there.
This means, even though my test results weren’t what I was hoping for… Even though the deck appears to be stacked against me… Even though there is no clear answer or path forward…
I commit every day to accepting my current reality + believing what I want is possible + taking action to achieve my goal—even when those actions are uncomfortable, scary, or unknown.
And the same goes for you.
Even though your business might not be where you want it to be… Even though you may not see the exact path forward…
You must commit every day to accepting you current reality + believing what you want is possible + taking action to achieve your goal—even when those actions are uncomfortable, scary, or unknown.
This is non-negotiable.
The question is: Are you willing?
Are you willing to accept reality and the future you fear?
AND ALSO believe that the result you want is possible?
AND ALSO be open to doing hard, scary, challenging, uncomfortable things?
I hope so. For you, for all the people you’re meant to serve with your business, and for the world at large who needs more role models like you, I hope so.
So remember, you are not alone in this.
You aren’t the only one facing a reality you don’t prefer, fearing a future you don’t want.
You aren’t the only one who needs to practice ignoring the BS thoughts and dig deep to believe what you want to create is possible.
You aren’t the only one who is doing uncomfortable, scary things.
There is a whole world of people just like you and me who are stepping up the challenge, willing to face what we don’t like to create what we do want.
So when you feel alone, when it feels hard, when you feel hopeless, STOP. Get quiet inside. And know I’m right there with you—with countless others—choosing to believe that what we want is possible and doing everything we can to make it happen.
Let’s do this together.
In fact, let’s do it together starting right now.
Share with us…
What are you willing to accept right now?
What belief can you hold on steadfastly to?
What commitment are you willing to make to yourself?
Leave a comment here so we can cheer you on.
While you’re here, support everyone else who is willing to step through the ABCs.
Because even if we’re all facing different challenges, knowing we’re in it together makes it that much easier to to do.
Please, share your story here, right now.
My Personal Recommendation for YouRunning My Business with Lyme Disease: What the Last 4 Years Have Really Been Like
I accept that my neck has bones spurs and arthritis that make computer work challenging, uncomfortable, and painful. I believe that my body and I can heal in time with gentle, loving, compassion, and care. I am committed to caring for my body, neck, and me well while continuing to teach, write, coach, love, and live my life fully with gratitude.
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! Thank you for sharing, Kelli! <3
Oh me too i mean love what and how you put it and also i have same neck issues happening
Wow! I can relate on too many levels. I’m also recovering from Lyme and as great as it is to get the news that it’s cleared, the havoc wreaked on the body during it’s “visit” can be pretty devastating. I’m accepting that it could be a long road back, that normal will probably look different at 42 after Lyme than it did at 32 without Lyme, and grateful for the days where I have enough energy to do a reasonable amount of things without hitting a wall and needing days to recover. I’m also recovering from a failed marriage that I invested my all into and accepting I did what I could and I can’t make it work on my own. Doing EMDR has helped reprogram some of those negative thought grooves in my brain and I feel more free, more ready to move forward into a promising future than ever. Thank you for sharing your story and for your encouragement to all of us, because almost everyone has false beliefs that are holding us back and need some ABC’s.
Sending you so much love, Rachel! I understand what you mean about how normal will be different at 42 than 32! It’s hard to compare pre-Lyme energy/health with post-Lyme because of how long it took to get to the other side. I also understand the marriage struggles in the middle. Although ours didn’t end, it almost did in them midst of all of that… stress upon stress upon stress.
I’m thrilled to hear that you’ve been having success with EMDR. I haven’t tried it before but have heard great things.
Sending you health and healing and good thoughts as you fully heal—because you will! <3
Hi Jenny!
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Have you ever heard of the Medical Medium? His name is Anthony William and is the author of several health books that are like no other. He writes about health issues just like yours and has NEW insights that haven’t made it to the medical field yet.
If you feel led to check him out, he has several books and does full body readings and scans in person and via Zoom.
Have a beautiful day and Holiday Season.
Love,
Julie Ann Mills
Hi Julie. Yes, I have. Thank you for sharing!
Hey Jenny,
Sending you lots of healing & healthy wishes.
This is where I am just now. I may not be where I want to be yet, but I believe it’s possible and I’m taking action. 10 minutes ago, I got off a podcast interview. 🙂
This week, I booked to be a guest presenter at two more webinars, which brings the number to four webinars in the first three months of 2019.
Excited for the year ahead! 🙂
Thank you for all your support and inspiration
Love how you’re stepping through the ABCs right here and now, Mira! I know you’re the kind of person who will keep putting one foot in front of the other, step by step, to make hitting your goals inevitable.
I’m cheering you on every single step of the way!! xo
Thanks for sharing Jenny. Such a powerful reminder that things don’t always go as planned, and it’s up to us to decide what to make it mean, and how to proceed. My story is all about the scary thought of going broke before I get my coaching business off the ground in a meaningful way. I’ve worked on the story so many different times and cannot seem to crack through it’s pervasive hold on me. Probably why I’m still stuck three paces in front of the starting gate (not really, but somedays it feels that way). Anyway, I said “no” to something I really wanted to do this year because of the fear. Anyway, I’m sending you love and hoping that your health begins to respond. You mean so much to this entire community.
I love this, Dani, how you see that you’re holding onto the scary thought possibly more than the belief of possibility. The internal commitment to believing our own positive future and the commitment to taking massive action is HUGE.
If fear didn’t have a voice in your business right now, what would you be choosing to believe and act on?
Dear, dear, Jenny,
Thanks so much for sharing your story. Even during your toughest times, you continue to inspire and bring hope – you’re amazing.
Thanks also for sharing the ABC-steps – so helpful. I can totally relate to that life doesn’t look the way I was hoping for, right now. And as you say, it’s easy to think we’re the only one struggling, be it with business, health, family or something else, when the truth is that many of us are, in one way or another – we might not just know about what’s going on in other people’s lives. Thanks to you and your willingness to share, I feel more “human” and that my current phase is okay. And you encourage me to keep going, one step at a time – no matter what.
Thanks for being you and for all you do, Jenny. I’m sending you all my love and support, and I’ll hold space for you and your recovery in my thoughts and in my heart.
Big love, healing energy & warm hugs your way! <3<3<3
Thank you for all of your kind words, Maria. You are always a presence of light and love, and I’m so grateful to know you!
Yes, we are all struggling in our own ways, and it’s helpful to remember we’re not alone in that. And even though your life might not be what you wanted it to look like right now, you’ve got the ABCs to help you keep you on the right track headed in the right direction.
xo
Hi Jenny,
Sending you many healing wishes.
It is very challenging getting used to new normals.
Take care of yourself and thank you for posting your story.
JB
Thank you, JB. The good news is my normal keeps getting better. Slower than I’d prefer, but why bother resisting reality 😉
I hope whatever it is isn’t too debilitating and that you get good news soon, Jenny. I know you’re proactive about your health, which we all have to be, and never give up! Hugs and love to you.
Shari
Thanks, Shari! I’m looking ahead to next spring, hoping to have made some big strides then. It all takes longer than I’d prefer, but that’s life sometimes!
Hi Jenny!
I don’t know if you remember me, but I’ve been on and off with you for the last couple years. My business was growing and it was fantastic thanks to your great programs! A year ago I started a second business with one of my best friends and it was growing by leaps!
Then in late spring my friend received bad news about her health, too. So we scaled back on that business and plan to start it up in 2019 again – giving her time to heal. So I took that as an opportunity to work on my writing and design business. I revisited the 1000 subscribers program and started working the plan again, focused on my writing – yes I’m writing a book – and I am redesigning my website.
On September 14 my husband who is in perfect health – swims, runs marathons and triathlons – had a cardiac arrest. My son was with him and started CPR immediately. When the paramedics arrived they had to shock my husband twice to bring him back to us. He’s alive and amazing and healing and I am beyond grateful for him being alive. But I didn’t work from mid-September until mid-November and it’s taking a toll on my business and our finances.
Although difficult, I accept this situation. I push back my fear every day. I believe 2019 will be amazing and with the skills and knowledge I’ve gained from your programs I know I can get my commitment back and my courage back and my clients back, my new website completed, my best friend and our amazing business back!
I feel your pain when it comes to health problems. I believe you will be strong again. I wish you a wonderful holiday season and look forward to connecting with you more in 2019!
Wow, what a story, and bravo to you and your whole family for accepting the current reality, facing your fears, and committing to creating what you want. I wish you all the best with your business—and your family—in 2019 and beyond! xo
I’m just over 12mths into my business, and am struggling with implementing everything I’d like right now, while maintaining consistency for my team and generating the income to fund new services. From little things like new retail storage to brand new treatments and income streams, with all the associated admin/marketing. For now I am working on accepting I achieved a huge amount last year and that I need to break things into smaller, achieveable chunks than just look at the whole! I too had a disappointing health diagnosis late last year and am committed to working in a way that lessens the potential impact on my daily life. Happy New Year to you
I love how you’re choosing to look at your situation, Heather! This kind of self-empowerment is what will get you through the hurdles of what needs to be done for your business and your health. You’ve got this!
Almost 7 years ago after the birth of my eldest daughter I suffered from postnatal psychosis, I had no idea what was happening to me, I lost all confidence in my actions and have held onto a lot of guilt for being ill and not having the strength to care for my daughter the way as a mother you should, relationships broke down i was at rock bottom, her dad left and we dont see him now, and ive struggled since to acheive a normal life, i honestly felt like eveything that happened was my own fault, i had 6 good months then 6 bad months year after year bad relationships after bad relationships, i met my partner 3 years ago and evrything started to change, through counselling after the birth of my youngest daughter who’s almost 13 months i was able to let go of some of this guilt, I still struggle to maintain relationships, and my confidence is not what it should be, I said yes to an opportunity last year before Christmas and I’m going to make it work 100% committed to gaining the knowledge I need to become successful work on my mindset daily be grateful for the small things and believe in that I hold the power to make great things happen. Thank you for putting this into perspective for me,
Way to reframe your situation and take charge of your situation moving forward. That attitude is what can move mountains. Look how far you’ve come and all you’ve overcome. Just think about where you can go from here… it’s going to be amazing.
I accept I can learn to live with my body (neck and spine issues) and my fear of everything. I believe I can get all the way through to a healthier healing approach where i am happy, joyful, strong and flexible, in mind and body. I commit I will do everything I can to fully heal and achieve my success with ease, balance and joy.
I love this, Jane! Way to accept, believe, and commit to what you want. That’s all you can do!
Hi Jenny,
In March this year I finally started to come out of a 4 year funk – post knee surgery, back injury and chronic pain type of funk – and I am SOOOOO incredibly grateful to feel that I finally have my health back.
So I launched my course in June and made my first money in my business – 4 students! I was so rapt! I only had 40 people on my list so since then I’ve been in list building mode. I was going to re-launch my course in October but had a number of health issues bombard me all at once – now I’ve been in a holding pattern waiting to find out when I’ll have gallbaldder surgery.
The thing is… I’ve let it TOTALLY derail me. Yes, I can’t set my course launch date until I know my surgery date, however, I’ve let it derail me from everything else I could be doing in the meantime. I started to doubt that I could do it at all (despite already having had some success!).
Thanks for this post – it’s given me a boost towards just getting on with the things I can do for now so that as soon as I have more clarity, I can run with it.
Love the ABC’s and what you have to say about acceptance.
Bravo for a massive dose of gratitude for how far you’ve come and way to own what’s shifted and how you want to get back on track. That self-awareness is HUGE!!
I am going to bookmark this and read it everyday!
Thank you for your words of wisdom and I look forward to learning from you and your team
You’re welcome, and yes, keep reminding yourself of the ABCs!
I have had Lyme disease for 37+ years, severe fibromyalgia and also chronic fatigue (probably all due to Lymes). I have experienced debilitating damage from the birth of my 2nd daughter, and major cancer surgery more recently. My greatest acceptance will come this year as I try to learn that I cannot conquer everything at all times and CAN ask for help.
I am hopeful that a new Lyme treatment will lessen the brain fog, reduce the pain, and lighten the fatigue.
Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you for sharing, and I’m sorry to hear about your challenges, Julie. Life does through us curve balls, doesn’t it.
The good news is acceptance can start NOW. Moment to moment, day by day.
Wishing you well with your new treatment!
Thanks so much for this. I have a lot to be grateful for and I am. I think that is why I struggle with acceptance but I am working to accept my business has not turned a profit for several years. I have spent a lot of time ignoring/pretending it wasn’t happening but am no longer hiding from that fact. As they say, the first step is acknowledging the reality.
What about if you didn’t have to “work to accept” but you just “did accept,” just in this moment right now? Just for a second, feel into it. See what happens. 😉
Thank you so much for this. My “story” is that because I couldn’t get my business to replace my income I had to go back into my career field, Early Childhood Education, as a preschool teacher (after years in administration), due to all the gaps in my employment for child-rearing, taking care of sick/dying father in another state, etc. With 2 degrees and 30+ years of experience, it’s the only place I can make decent money. The problem is that I have Common Variable Immune Deficiency, which means my body does not recognize nor fight bacteria, and it’s getting weaker against viruses this year. I can’t go between antibiotic courses more than a week, which takes its own toll. I have been trying to get back into administration for over a year now, not only to get out of the petri dish, but also to have a job that doesn’t require 10-20 hours of my time on the weekends, so I can really work on my business. I’m pretty good at the A, but must work on the B and C to hit my goal of full time income with my business (and beyond so that my husband, with his failing health, can retire). I used to be on your list , but unsubscribed during an email purge. I’m glad I rediscovered you. I’m looking forward to implementing what you teach.
Sounds like you know what your next steps are to work the ABCs! I’m cheering you on as you keep up this important work of acceptance – believe – commitment!
Oh Jenny…I finally got around today to catching up on some of your amazing blogs. I’m SO sorry to hear you got this disappointing diagnosis. I am holding in my heart that your body will heal fully so it can keep up with that unstoppable spirit of yours!
The thing I learned to accept more deeply this past year is my anxiety disorder. My anxiety levels spiked quite a bit last year (have recently figured out a somewhat physiological cause). This caused a lot of emotional pain, but I realized that what was causing even MORE pain were the stories that were coming up around the anxiety… ‘I’m a coach who’s living in anxiety…I’m such a fraud’, ‘If I was more disciplined, this wouldn’t be happening’, ‘I’ll always be trapped in this state’, ‘I can’t share this with anyone…it’s too embarrassing…I”m supposed to have this figured out!’
It was when I was able to hold the anxiety (and myself) in a cradle of loving-kindness, that I was able to start dropping the stories that were exacerbating the anxiety experience and be able to deal more head-on with the physiological aspects of the anxiety.
This is something I’ve been wanting to write about to my community, so thank-you for once again modelling what’s possible! Big Hugs, Kimberly
Thank you for your comment, Kimberly! I’m appreciate your thoughts!
I love that you’ve moved to a deeper level of acceptance with your own situation and are realizing the power of your stories around your pain. BRAVO on that insight!
Sending you love as you cultivate more and more self-compassion on this journey, and your community is lucky to hear you share your story with them! <3
Awww…THX Jenny! xo
Sending you all the best,
warmly from Amsterdam,
Gloria