Ever you feel like you’ve done the best you could with something new in your business but have nothing to show for it? No sign ups, no clients, no purchases?
We’ve all been there.
Maybe you’ve also done everything I’ve taught you so far, like using a scientist’s mindset, tweaking your way to success, and checking to it w sure you’re determined, not desperate. But something’s still not clicking, and you have no idea what.
There’s one final missing piece to the puzzle that it’s time for me to share with you. It’s the last post in this series, and it’s essential to your success.
I dare to say you’re doomed to fail without it.
I stand by that last statement so much so that I’m going to confess to something I’ve been doing regularly for the past five years that I know has been essential in getting my business this far. I would not be where I am without it. And like some, you may be surprised to learn this truth about me.
Before we go there, I want to know if this sounds familiar.
That Gut Reaction
You just clicked “send” on an email to your list announcing a shiny new product or service, and you’re over-the-moon excited about this labor of love. You sit at your computer for 10 minutes, waiting for the first sign-ups roll in…. but you don’t see a single one.
The minutes tick by. A pit starts to form in your stomach. Your heart is pounding, and your mouth goes dry.
Before you know it, you’re in a full-blown panic mode.
Where is everyone?! Why has no one purchased yet?!
You spent so much time carefully cultivating an engaged list and creating an offering you were sure they’d be thrilled to purchase. Yet the crickets continue to chirp.
From here, without a scientist’s approach, your brain usually takes one of two paths.
The first is the self-blame road. There is definitely, definitely something deeply wrong with you. In fact, everyone probably hates you. You’ll never make it as a ______. You’re clearly doomed. Forever. Maybe it’s time to get that Starbucks barista job you’ve been thinking about.
The second is the “Wait… I can fix it!” route. You might decide it just needs to be rejigged one more time, and then it will work! So you start shifting and re-thinking with no real direction, just frantic energy and tons of busy action-taking. Pretty soon, that new offer you took so much time creating has a completely new look (for better or worse). “Because,” you declare, “now it will sell!” And off you go to try again.
Here’s the thing: neither of these is going to get you out of your situation.
You aren’t doomed, however, and the issue isn’t as convoluted as you think. You just can’t see what’s really happening because you’re believing your own panicked thoughts – and that can be very, very dangerous.
So how do you get out of this dire scenario? I’m so glad you asked.
How I Steer Clear of Panicked Thinking
Depending on how long you’ve been following me, you may or may not know that I started out as a life coach for women stuck in jobs they hated. I quit Corporate America to save other people from that dreaded fate.
And what do all good life coaches do? They get coached. A lot.
As I was building my coaching business, I was getting coached. Weekly. On everything from crappy thoughts like, “I’ll never make this work,” to more personal things I’m not going to mention here because my family reads this blog.
Twists and turns later, I rebuilt my business from the ground up here at jennyshih.com as a “make your ideas happen” coach with a project management + technical/virtual assistant slant. I was using my innate talents plus my corporate experiences to build a business using my true superpowers. As I learned more about business and marketing, I added that to my repertoire.
Through it all, I was constantly getting coached. Weekly. By many talented coaches.
Even though I still get coached regularly, I sort of forgot how important regular coaching is to business-building. I forgot because it has become such a natural part of how I navigate my life that I no longer think of it as “special.” It’s simply part of how I live.
When I was scheming my Make It Work Online program, I asked my friend and Master Certified Coach Bev Barnes to join the program as a speaker and coach. I knew that the ideas I was teaching the program’s incredible women would push them and challenge them… and fill their minds with panicked thinking. (Doing, trying, or working toward anything new will do that!)
I wanted Bev to be there to help each of the women through it. (Because although I used to be a life coach, it’s not my superpower. It’s Bev’s.)
That’s when the a-ha hit me. Bev laughed as I realized it:
It’s not just the marketing and business skills that helped my business. Yes, they were essential. However, one of the biggest keys to my business success was me, looking at my “stuff,” questioning my crappy thinking, and sorting through my personal shit with a talented coach. This is what has given me the confidence and gusto to go after and create what I want in my business.
Working on my “stuff” makes business 1000% easier. Tweet that!
Bev, of course, realized this a long time ago because she was one of the first coaches I hired. She was also the one who helped me find the “make your ideas happen” coaching niche. (I owe you big, Bev!! xo)
The Missing Link, Your Life-Saving Ticket
Back to you…
It’s not hard to understand that the secret sauce of successful online businesses has a lot to do with smart marketing, strong business ideas, strategic execution, and list-building. And programs I love, like my own Make It Work Online and Marie Forleo’s B-School, teach you those absolutely essential skills.
But I’m hoping you now see that there’s another side of running a profitable venture that isn’t about the practical stuff or even about intuition. It’s the one most people try not to look at, because, as my friend Amy Pearson says, “It brings up your shit.”
And it’s the reason I confessed to being a coaching whore.
What are we talking about? Mindset.
When you’ve learned all the marketing and business skills, when you’ve tweaked your business ten ways ‘til Sunday, and things still aren’t working, you’re probably facing a mindset issue.
Here are five telltale signs that your mindset is tripping up your success. Let me warn you: there are probably a dozen other ways your mental status is tripping up your business; these are just the top five I can spot a mile away. (If you know what the others are, please share them in the comments below.)
Sign #1 – You feel like crap
If you’re feeling less-than-awesome when you think about your business – knots in your stomach, panic, anxiety, worry. These are all signs you could use a mindset makeover.
A coach will help you get your weak and strong points straight, so you can get a clear picture of exactly what’s going on… without all the emotional distress.
Sign #2 – Your brain won’t shut off
Is your brain going into overdrive about business decisions? Do scenarios replay in your head over and over again, or are you finding yourself permanently stuck in “business mode”? You probably have a mindset issue keeping you stuck “on.”
Sign #3 – You’re exhausted but can’t seem to let yourself slow down
A great coach can help you see where you’re working too hard. Yes, there’s such a thing as working too hard – and it can be detrimental to your health and work! There are ways you can make the same amount of money (or more!) by working less. A coach can help you uncover what’s holding you back from taking the next step (or leap!).
Sign #4 – You’re thinking one of these thoughts
“I’ll never make it as a business owner.”
“Because that one thing didn’t work out, I must be a failure.”
“If I’m not perfect, then no one will hire me.”
“I’ll never be as good as her – EVER. I should just quit already.”
“All my ideas are terrible. I’ll never get it right.”
These little voices haunt all of us. An awesome coach will guide you to get clear about why the same cruel phrases play on repeat in your head and exactly how to get rid of them.
Because as long as you have this crap rolling around in your head, you can only put so much attention onto your business. Tweet that!
Sign #5 – You’ve taken all the classes, and…
Are you one of those amazing people who has invested in every single business coach or program out there? Do you know the lingo inside an out, yet have no results to show for your smarts?
There’s a good chance that you need a life coach. Because if you “know everything” yet see little return from the braintrust you’ve created, you probably have some stuff in the way.
Are You? Have You? Could You? Will You?
Now I’d love to hear from you!
Are you a life coach? What’s your specialty? Do you work with entrepreneurs? Please, share a bit about you and a link to your site below.
Have you ever worked with a coach before? What was your experience? How did it help your business (and your life)?
If you think you could use a life coach, what would you want to work on the most? We may be able to help you find the perfect coach for you!
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts in the comments below! I have a feeling this one’s going to stir it up!
Photo credit: Meghan Hof, Gathering Light Photography
I was totally going to disagree here, and “realized” my way out of it.
When I’m talking to my financial coaching clients, I almost always know who will be successful and who will not be, based on their money mindset.
The financial tips (systems, strategies, and other remarkably business-like advice) are all 100% effective, HOWEVER, if the client has a certain perception about their money, they’ll literally sabotage themselves unnecessarily. They’ll say, “I suck with money,” “I can’t do TOO well, my family/friends will start to think differently of me,” “I’ll never be able to save THAT much money!” “Because of these past mistakes, I’m doomed to being broke forever…” etc. Without addressing this stuff, the systems really mean nothing.
So now, I can totally see how a bad business mindset can prevent business success.
The problem is, it’s hard to “fix” a mindset without giving people proof of what’s possible. If someone can start saving just a little bit, they can start to see that it’s possible. If they can pay down their debt consistently, they can start to see the end of the tunnel. So I think maybe in business coaching, the hardest but most effective step should be about getting people to their first “small wins”–giving them proof that success is possible, and thus changing a negative mindset.
Aaaand, now that I wrote you a novel, I’m going to shut my mouth 🙂
This is where the magic of life coaches come in, Leah. A really good one can help people fix their mindset before the circumstances on the outside change. It’s wild! Instead of using external circumstances to indicate how they should feel, think or be, a great life coach can help people feel, think or be the way they want — which then actually makes the circumstances they desire come faster. It’s super duper magic 🙂
This definitely makes me think more critically about my own stumbling blocks. Only heaven knows how many I have 😉
Dear, dear Jenny-Several years ago you were my coach at a little spot called Inquiry Power Hour. Week after week you listened to my/our limiting beliefs and asked “Is it true?” I never left those calls. I wondered for a long time if the reason was fear. Fear of putting myself out there in the “real” world. But I don’t think so–this is where I shine. This is where my body hums. This is where my fears melt away. I still show up twice a week and do my work. I went on to study with Byron Katie and returned to give back what you and other coaches have given me. I can’t say that I’ve created a thriving business for myself but I love coaches and I love the Work. It is in that structured sacred space where painful, limiting thoughts are met with compassion that I am most happy, most fulfilled, most at home. In answer to the question, “What would I want to work on the most?–how to bridge my desire to serve with my desire to care for myself and my family. In short, how to be paid for what I love.
Fun to see you here, Debee! It sounds like you have found and embraced your gifts! Excellent! It is definitely time for you to take the next step to learn about business and marketing, so you can get paid to do what you love!
Your gifts ARE NEEDED in this world – I know that for sure. You can do this!
Hi Debee! You were “on call” when I phoned into Inquiry Power Hour last year. You coached me and I am thankful for your kindness and talent.
I am a life coach and getting coached works!
I can tell it helps my business-mindset.
Enough said.
thank you Jenny. Thank you.
Hi Jenny, thanks so much for this one.
Never reacted before, but this one resonates in a ‘healing the world’ way. Bit dramaticly put maybe.. but yet feels true.
I think most of us still are in the place of pushing. With or without spirit and passion, but still pushing. Wanting results.
Lacking of feeling what is really desired underneath it all..
And so you hit one of those ‘Signs’. And push on through it. Getting lost from your gut(feelings), ripped out of your heart. Stepping up the speed or spirit.. empty.
I quit doing that.
I am working on my new business ‘behind the scenes’ and what I am worried about the most (when fear comes along) is the time it takes, much more than I first thought. The why is ‘easy’ though: I’m only wanting to do it aligned and from inspired action instead of the pushing-through-it way with all enthusiasm, spirit and seeing all the good stuff at the end of the rainbow. And that is a process.
So, facing all the ‘Signs’ now you mention, as a sign of not being plugged in right into myself, and first thing to do is: feeling good.
I am taking care of feeling good first (getting in the vortex in Abraham-language) and then go to work. It might take some time sometimes. What it helps is: the good feelings about life and myself are basics, so I am paving a foundation that is healthy and strong to really set me off for other and more good stuff.
That is talking my walk and walking my talk as well..
It is the feminine way of doing ‘stuff’ and I want to thrive much more on my feminine essence than on the so-much-more-in-your-face masculine ways we still see so much around.
As women we should honor more who we are, and for that our feminine side.
Coaching? Yeah, can do that.. For me, tapping in with more women who do their thing from the place of feeling good is the best therapy at the moment.
I do have a great 1-1 exchange with a business-coach-friend, helping each other to feel good AND take the steps that are in front of us. Chunking it up with love.
I am working on the Academy for Loving (translated.. one of the least words being better saying what you want in dutch than in english is: Liefhebben, so that is what it’s called instead of Loving)
Helping men and women take their Next Step in the new relationship with themselves, life itself and their (future) partners. Using full potential from their femininity and masculinity for more attraction, zest for life and the art of loving.
And it is not always easy to really stay with the flow. But sooo worth it.
I truly believe in my work, nothing can stop me. Just me, working it ‘too hard’.
I’ve been there. And there it is not blossoming. Now trusting the new way.
Sometimes scary as sh*t, mostly devine.
🙂
And still the energy is: I can’t wait being online with it, woohoo. And yet, not leaving or disliking the place where I am right now.
Love and high five,
Sandra
Cheering you on along your journey, Sandra!
Hey Jenny. This is SO true! I had been a Wellness Coach for a few years when I started to notice a pattern. No matter how much time, motivation or money someone had to reach their wellness goals, almost every woman I worked with self sabotaged after some period of time. Why? For exactly the reason you write about here– their “stuff”. Weight issues and lack of self care are symptoms. Now I work with women and overwhelm (LornaGager.com) and I make it clear from the outset that if they are not willing to work on their “stuff” that there is no point in moving forward. This of course applies to entrepreneurs too. Great article.
It is our “stuff” that keeps us from what we want (when we let it) – so true! I’m glad to hear you’ve seen the importance of that component in your work because without a willingness to dive in deep, we can’t always make the big transformations we want to make. Keep up your good work in the world, Lorna!
Great advice Jenny. I’ve used a coach to help me begin building my business, and what it did for me was keep me accountable – I’m much more likely to go the extra mile if someone is “watching.” As a Health Coach I know my clients feel the same way with consistent exercise and eating well – just knowing someone is in your court and keeping you on track is priceless when it comes to meeting your goals!
Accountability is definitely a factor that coaches can help with. Putting money on the line can be a motivator, for sure.
Love this Jenny!
I totally agree ~ It’s no wonder that life coaches have coaches themselves. Once you’ve been coached you’ve experienced the magic that’s so hard to capture in words.
I’m currently in the middle of a huge launch and have (my coach whore is showing) a couple of coaches on standby. A business coach and a life coach. Business for strategy and the life for mindset. Both just as crucial.
Ironically enough my launch is for my certification program for moms who want to coach other moms. But this point’s definitely in my curriculum. Coaches need coaches!
You got it, Kathy – we need both a business (practical, logical, strategy, etc) coach and a mindset (life) coach to be successful. Just knowing the next steps isn’t always enough to get us to take them!
You go, girl, in getting your work out to more moms!
Hi Jenny,
Thanks for your timely post. I am in transition yet again in my life (as I shared with you last May/June – post B-school). I have often thrown around if I should hire a coach or someone to help with with my business.
I have been stuck on taking consistent action post B-school. Indeed I have encountered numerous life changes (newly divorced in May of 2013 and now yesterday, having officially resigned from a full-time position that wasn’t filling me up). I know that I have a very valuable gift to share with people who need my services. It just seems I haven’t been successful in taking action. I have definitely met up with resistance, and I’m certain it has to do with fear voices – Sign #4 (of your post). I am in need of some Divine Guidance and am asking for help. I trust you.
Thanks for all you do Jenny!
Yes, Shana, you nailed it! I think you’re right — the changes you’ve been through plus the difficulty taking action means you’re probably doing something to get in your own way. I’m a big fan of Bev Barnes because I’ve worked with her personally, though there are lots of great coaches out there. Find your right person, and you’ll be back on track when you’re ready. Sending you big love as you dive in 🙂
I looked like a nodding dog toy whilst reading your post, Jenny! But I also had a big smile on my face because I have just hired a kick-ass business coach for all the reasons you highlight and I couldn’t be happier. I know it is exactly what I need to get my message and my products to the right ladies.
It’s the biggest single business investment I have made – and I did BSchool! But I know it will be the regular, consistent, trusting butt kick that will focus me on the right work.
How did I know it was right? Exactly like you said it – I coach women on their health and food and I still employ a health coach for myself, so why wouldn’t I do that for my business?! #nobrainer
I love your posts!
Andrea
I have huge respect for a coach who walks her talk!! Right on, Andrea, for going after what you need to help you continue to grow and develop in your business and in your life!
Hi Jenny! I have worked with a few coaches and they have been key to get me where I am now. They have helped me with the mindset shift you talk about above, to stay on one path instead of straying off, and to stay accountable-super important to me! I choose to serve coaches with my business because I believe so much in the power of coaching, no matter what kind it is. I’ve seen first hand the results they give and don’t think that I, as a business owner, would be able to continue to grow and move forward with out it. Thank you for the post!
Right on, Teri!
Great post Jenny!
I am an intuitive relationship/dating coach and I love that Bev and you brought up the idea of resolving your “stuff” and mindset. It’s one of the biggest things I have been working on in my own practice and with clients. I work with a lot of highly action-oriented women who kick ass in business but when it comes to love and relationships, they feel like there’s this invisible but clear wall of stuff keeping them from fully opening their heart. And what I have found is when we go there, and they are willing to go to the scary deep places, their business flourishes and they are doing way way less! If any of you on here relate to this and want to turn your love life around, please reach out. I’m here for you!
Love,
Diana
I love that you do this deep work with women, Diana. It’s so needed in the world!!
I love that you wrote this post Jenny because this is soooo helpful for your tribe to know. I’m still trying to get over how goofy I look in the tiara:). Thanks so much for sharing this message. You can get through the things that hold you back once you become aware and get the right support. This post is helping your peeps become aware. Thanks for all the kudos Jenny, but I for one always knew you were a superstar even when you thought you were a career coach. Big love 🙂
That tiara was made for you, Bev! It looks fantastic! And a Master Fear Fighter must be crowned as such! 🙂
Thank you for helping me see this critical part that I knew was important but forgot how important it really was! Keep doing your great work in the world — it’s needed!
Wow Jenny! I love your honesty!
Once again you’re spot on. I have just gone through the baby steps in my business but have yet to really grow it in the direction of my dreams.
Have invested in plenty of programmes and some coaching. You have just underlined that this isn’t a fix it once and forget about it process. Thank you – its a good reminder that the ‘work’ continues whatever level you have reached (or are aiming for!)
You got it, Kate! We’re always working and growing and learning on both sides — the business and the mental.
Hi Jenny,
Your advice is spot on! As my coach says often “every coach needs a coach”. And, as a Forgiveness Coach, I see mindset as everything! It colors everything you think, see and do. Especially decisions! Working with my clients, I see over and over again that often they are unaware of the “stuff” going on in their minds and how it affects everything they do. My job is to guide them towards rehabilitating their thoughts so that they can have more peace, live with purpose and move forward in a positive way towards attaining their goals!
Glad to hear you’re another great coach doing great work in the world! Please keep it up — the world needs you!
So true Jenny! I’ve been trying to figure out my business for months and just swimming in a pool of self doubt and overwhelm and it wasn’t until I dealt with all my stuff and took down my fears one by one that I finally had a major breakthrough of what I should be doing in my business. It really works! 🙂
Awesome! Love when those breakthroughs come!
Hi Jenny,
Coaching helps 1000% get clear and move forward! I worked with a life coach(one of my teachers) for a few months at the beginning of 2013! I moved with purpose for the next year, so it had effect.
This year I spent six months with a business coach. Unfortunately it was more consulting than coaching — it worked to build a business albeit one that I gave me knots thinking about! I ditched it. My heart wasn’t in it!
My advice is to pick your coach with care! experiemce is one factor but ability to coach is a other! I’d hire a good coach with little experience if they had that skill right now!
In my case, I’d simply make the wrong assumption. She thought coaching and called herself a coach! I assumed that she would actually help me discover and move past my stuff. That was my definition of a coach. I was wrong! I did adress my concerns. She agreed to try — it always ended with “your not coachable”.
This is making me think of 2015!
Thanks,
Nathalie
Yay for coaching! So sorry to hear you had a bad experience with a business coach (who wasn’t a coach) — it’s always a bummer to hear that!
Hey Jenny – YES, YES, and YES. I cannot count how many times I have told my own life coach/mentor (Hey, Janet!) the profound impact she has made on my quality of life, quality of relationships and my business success. I, too, am a coach – and of course need to “live it to give it” (as a fellow Martha Beck coach, you know what I am talking about). I specialize in helping expats to live well, be successful across cultures and enjoy the adventure. This is not always easy when you are 1) in a new and stressful context, 2) are overwhelmed by cultural complexity and…as icing on the cake 3) have your own limiting beliefs standing in your way. I use coaching tools on myself all the time (being in a binational marriage, raising Third Culture Kids, and living and working in West Africa) and share the best ones with my clients. Thanks for articulating how important coaching is to moving forward in one´s business and one´s life!
High five to a fellow trained coach!! Coaches make the world go ’round (more smoothly)!
Yes I saw this and now have been working on it. I dont have a coach but my new coach. I hired off my gut. I have been doing mediation and other things. I might get a coach. I see for me is setting things to work on and just do it.. This is a thing that I dont do and I know its the mindset playing and keeping me from doing stuff.
Mindset is a huge factor when it comes to business. If hiring a coach can’t happen for you now, I strongly recommend checking out Brooke Castillo’s book Self Coaching 101. You can work through it yourself and learn and shift a ton — for life and business. It’s a really great resource.
Funny how the negative pulls on your inner negative. I read the email subject, said to myself “this better be about the mystery juice and not a JV offer” (that’s my inner negative) Glad I read it, it IS about how you know it’s time to leave the known and move into the mystery juice, which can be a no-fly zone for rational scientific types. That symptom list is clear and accurate. When you feel that list you know it’s time to go “there”… into the mystery juice, the interior, and see that landscape. I have a special skill in keeping my scientist mind balanced and clear in the charisma, the mystery, the mystical, and the tangled soup of words, worldviews, promises and assumptions. What I am not sure about is how to find people who want THAT from me. Mostly what I’ve done in my life is help people with either animals or off the charts suffering go into that final frontier of Westerners, the interior word… which happens without effort when your body (or your dog!) has your total attention with deep pain or illness or other intensity. Gets easier each time you go but always feels as hard as it can possibly be and the only person who can go there with you is someone who knows the trip there and back personally. For all the same reasons that my becoming a business coach rather than an animal communicator or energy healer was unthinkable (only business I know is what feels right spiritually, emotionally, and ethically) it suddenly seemed essential.
To answer your question, “What I am not sure about is how to find people who want THAT from me,” start by asking yourself these things:
– What’s going on in people’s lives that they need this work from you?
– What do they want their lives to look like after the magic with you happens?
Take yourself out of the equation and focus 100% on these people. What do they want? Need? Long for? … The answers are in there and they will lead you to those people who need you most. (And it’s okay if it’s hard to answer these questions. This is THE HARDEST work we do as business owners!)
I think your insight is right on — entrepreneurs need support for both the technical side of business (marketing, etc.) and the personal side (how you show up as a leader in your business — even if you’re the only one you’re leading!!).
In my experience as a coach over the last ten years, I find that people often underestimate the value of developing themselves as a leader of the business, because it feels less tangible than working a business plan. And yet there is a tremendous amount of leverage in understanding and bringing to fruition your strengths as a leader, as well as learning what’s getting in the way of being your best self.
I work with big-picture thinkers to help them move from concept to contribution. There are particular mindset issues and habits that can make big-picture thinkers feel really frustrated that others don’t seem to be getting what they have to offer! If you’re a big-picture thinker, you can learn more at http://www.riverbendcoaching.com.
Thanks Jenny, for being so generous and allowing people to share their expertise and resources!!
Well put, Julie. I would agree that people do underestimate the value of developing themselves as leaders and business owners — doing that core work is so important and can lead to success much faster in one’s business than looking at strategy and marketing alone.
Julie, big YES. Going inside in a clear-eyed way and letting go of what’s not the shape you will be is an essential if sometimes invisible leadership quality.
What a lovely celebration of life coaching Jenny! Thank you for this. I loved reading about your own process and how far you’ve come.
I’m a life coach who takes a depth approach, and I help bright, caring women find their way back to their inner wisdom. Often that does include career/biz coaching, as well as relationships and personal stuff.
While I’m at it, let me put in a plug for therapy too (which I also offer to California residents). There are a whole bunch of therapists out there who take a coach approach to helping people both understand/get insight about their personal shit/crappy thoughts (as you so aptly name it) AND move forward/create a life that truly matters to them. A win/win combo, in my opinion.
And yep, I meet with someone who is a counselor/coach/mentor for two hours every single week. It’s been instrumental in getting me where I am in biz and life. We actually trade “sessions” with each other and it has worked out magnificently. We’re still going strong after four years of doing this. Can’t imagine my life without this deep and important connection.
I love that there’s another coach who gets coached (or a therapist who gets therapy). That’s so important!! Thanks for being here!
I love this, Jenny!
I am a life coach who works with singers and artists in addition to a holistic voice teacher.
http://www.angelapetersonwinter.com
I also trade sessions on a weekly basis with my life coaching friends, and it has been absolutely instrumental in helping me recognize my unique gifts and get past my crappy thoughts and internal resistance!
I believe that working with a coach can help every element of our lives and businesses as everything is truly interconnected. Thanks for bringing this to light!
Yay for coaching!!!