I’ve been self-employed since 2009. Quitting my corporate engineering and management career to work for myself was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
My business hasn’t been a hobby; it’s been a support-my-household-as-the-sole-breadwinner kind of business, and I’m deeply grateful for that.
But after a long period of things going incredibly well, everything went south—fast.
The short story is this:
- In 2021, I was forced to stop working because I literally couldn’t work. It felt like my brain was broken. I was exhausted, unable to think clearly or strategically, and an emotional mess over all of it.
- In mid-2024, after finally having a clear diagnosis and a great care team, I resumed writing emails and working with some clients. When I returned to work at that time, I wrote about my 3-year hiatus in this blog post from late 2024.
- Early in 2025, it became clear that I’d returned to work too early, moved by hope, not the solid foundation I really needed. I stopped working and put my focus back into healing.
- Now, well into 2026, I feel different. I can think clearly. I’m sleeping well. I feel grounded. And I’m ready to work, for real.
The extended time off was necessary not just for my health but also for me to more clearly see what’s next for me and my business.
As I shared in my 2024 blog post, summarizing my initial personal leave …
Less than a year after returning to work [after my maternity leave], I became literally unable to do my job.
I was overcome by a deep exhaustion that wasn’t remedied with 2-hour daily naps and 10+ hours in bed each night. My brain was so foggy that I couldn’t think critically, make strategic plans, or learn new businessy things.
It was confusing, exhausting, and overwhelming. I had no idea what was happening or why.
The most logical guess was burnout from being an older, new mom in a pandemic without any support, managing a sizable business, and dealing with pre-pregnancy health issues.
As I later learned, I was very wrong.
It took me several years to get a clear diagnosis and several more to return to status as a fully-functioning human. At this point, I don’t feel any inclination to share specifics about my health situation, diagnosis, or treatments. Maybe someday, maybe never.
What I will say is that the time between my son’s birth in spring 2020 and my return to work for good in August 2026 was an eye-opening, seismic life-shifting experience that is far from over.
I’m not sure anyone can go through an experience like that and come out the other side “the same” as they were before. I certainly didn’t.
Because of that, and although I’m deeply grateful to feel able to work again, it’s also incredibly awkward to return to work. I’m not the same person I was before I stopped working. My time away has reshaped who I am on the inside in more ways than I can count.
As one small example, you may remember me as someone who was often bubbling over with excitement, momentum, confidence, and ambition about work, business, my team, our clients—all of it.
Now, I’m glad to be working again, and I love my clients, having my own business, and writing to you. But that bubbling-over energy just isn’t here anymore, and I can’t pretend, perform, or force it.
Usually when a business owner or creator changes herself and her work, the people who follow her get to go along for the journey. They witness the new person and new work unfold almost in real time.
But for me, I was mostly silent during these last several years, so folks didn’t get to witness that unfolding. So if my return to work, to writing, and to your inbox feels different than it used to, your perception is spot on.
Still, I want to show up and do useful work with the right people in a way that is sustainable for who I am and how I can work now.
That’s part of what success on your terms has always been about: success as you define it, on the terms you set for yourself. What those terms look like for me has changed, but the value itself is still very much intact. That’s one of the best things about working for ourselves—our businesses can change as we change.
Going forward, you’ll see me writing more about the person behind the business, you and me included.
I’ll write about making sure our work fits our actual lives, values, and unique circumstances, what it means when a business no longer fits the person or life it was built for, and what to do when that happens.
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