I sit down to write a pitch email requesting to be a guest on Amy Porterfield’s podcast.
My leg shakes. I squirm in my chair. I wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans, get up, and pace around the office taking deep breaths.
My gremlins are out in full force.
What if she says no?
What if she says nothing?!
I’m not a big enough name to be on her show!
Will she even see the value I can provide to her audience?
What the heck should I even write in this email?
It’s been like this since January. That’s how long I’ve known that I want to ask to be on Amy’s show. (Maybe even longer, if I’m really honest.)
Can you relate to the anxiety that comes when you’re taking what could be a big step for your business?
It feels like there’s so much riding on this one action. And you want to do it right.
No, you want to do it perfectly. Because if it goes wrong, the whole world might just fall apart and leave your business doomed forever.
Or so we seem to convince ourselves…
Sharing the “Ugly” Side
By now, you know that I don’t shy away from getting real, raw, and truthful about my business and life. I share the nitty-gritty details behind my fears, my challenges, and my failures.
When I first brainstormed this post idea, part of me wanted to share a story from years ago when I was just starting out, because it felt a little safer.
Maybe old stories are easier to tell because they don’t hurt so much anymore. Or maybe I want you to feel like things get easier and fears subside the longer you’re in business.
Honestly, fear and discomfort are the reality of running your own business. No matter how long you’ve been doing it, as long as your business is growing, your shit comes up.
Sure, pitching to Amy made me a squirmy, anxious, nervous wreck. But I still did it. I worked through the discomfort and sent that pitch email.
In some ways, I made it a million times harder than it needed to be (which I’ll get into in a second), but I also did a few things right.
That’s why, even though I’m embarrassed to tell this story, I’m still going to spill my guts about this recent uncomfortable “growth opportunity” so that you can learn from my experience.
My Personal Recommendation for YouSteal This! A 3-Step Plan for Putting Yourself Out ThereWhat I Did Wrong
When I first sat down to write my pitch to Amy, I suddenly had all these reasons that I was too busy.
The dog needs to go for a walk…
Oh! A notification just popped up on Facebook!
I have an idea for a new project I want to work on.
What’s the name of that new stationery store I want to check out?
You and I both know I was procrastinating because I was terrified.
Okay, procrastinating could be a huge understatement. It took me seven months to finally send that pitch. Seven months!
I procrastinated far longer than was necessary, and I let my crappy thinking get the best of me.
My mind made the discomfort (shaking, squirming, sweating) equate to a strong sign that I wasn’t good enough to be a guest on her show.
It was easy to believe that I needed to be more well-known, leverage my connections, or hit my first million-dollar year before I could declare that I had something valuable to share with her audience.
Oh, our minds are so good at bullshitting us!
But the truth is I do have some very valuable insights to share with her audience, so I needed to get over my own BS and take action.
My Personal Recommendation for YouThe #1 List-Building Mistake That All Overthinkers MakeWhat I Did Right
The good news is that I didn’t let those nagging thoughts win. I finally caught onto my procrastination and named it accurately: fear.
Once I was onto myself, I could do the only next step there was to do: Sit down and write the pitch.
At the same time, I didn’t ignore the discomfort and simply bulldoze through it without awareness. I’ve learned over the years that discomfort often shows up for me when I’m doing something new, pushing upward in my business (or life), and wanting to make something new happen.
Yes, the discomfort highlighted that it was new to pitch someone of Amy’s caliber, but it also highlighted that input from a pitch expert might be useful. So I asked for help. (Okay, I asked two people! Amanda and Debbie.)
With their expert advice, I wrote the pitch—still squirming but a tiny bit more confident—and hit “send.”
Discomfort Is Normal, But There’s a Catch
Hopefully you noticed that at no point did my discomfort completely disappear. It was with me all the way until I clicked “send” on my pitch email.
I hear your next question:
How do I know when discomfort is my intuition telling me something is off or when discomfort is simply coming up because I’m doing something new?
Click to TweetIs discomfort in business a sign that something’s “off” or is it a sign that we’re afraid to try something new?That, really, is the bigger question.
And the answer, thankfully, is pretty easy.
Stop Trying to Figure It All Out by Yourself
The best way to know if discomfort is a sign that something is off is, as you can guess from my story above, by getting feedback and input from an expert.
Experts—people who have a proven track record in their field—are the perfect sounding boards for us when we’re trying something new.
Even when something feels awkward and uncomfortable to us, they can easily see if we’re on or off track.
If we can’t sort it out on our own, or if we don’t trust our intuitive sense completely (which is really hard to do when we’re doing something for the first few times), getting an outside perspective can make all the difference between being stuck in fear and inaction, and moving forward.
This means it’s your job to find that expert, that sounding board, that outside perspective to help you see what needs to be done, make sure you’re doing it right, and keep you on track.
By the way, this is one of my favorite things to do for my clients.
My Personal Recommendation for YouStop Playing It Safe: Why Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone Will Lead You to a Highly Successful BusinessDo You Need a Sounding Board?
I want to hear from you!
What areas in your business are you ready to take a leap but feel uncomfortable about it?
What questions do you have that are holding you back?
What expert do you currently turn to for an outside perspective? Or do you need someone?
Fill me in below, and let’s see if we can get you on track so you can move through the discomfort and take action!
Hi Jenny! I loved this article in particular. I know from personal experience that fear has held me back from really putting myself out there. Prior to being a psychotherapist, I was certified in integrative yoga therapy, and I definitely had trouble pitching or promoting myself because of fear of judgment. As someone who strides the divide between Eastern and Western philosophies, I definitely have people on both ends (yoga practitioners on one side, psychiatrists and other more “traditional” therapists on the other) who might not see things exactly the way I do.
I’ve come to realize over time that somebody is always going to have something to say about what you do, or how you do it, but ultimately, it’s important we trust our instincts, surround ourselves with people we trust, and listen to what our client’s needs are. The more I do the work I do, the more I find that people out there are struggling with anxiety, depression, or addictions but have been failed by traditional medical models, or disillusioned by promises made by “alternative” providers. There are SO many people out there looking for a balanced perspective, and I just need to keep getting out in front of them and letting them know I’m here, regardless of what peers in the field may think.
SO, to answer your questions: I’m definitely trying to just put myself out there more and OWN my own expertise without judging myself or worrying about how others may judge me. Now that I’ve gotten over that initial fear, it’s more about figuring out HOW exactly to market myself as that expert, identify the appropriate outlets to pitch to, and refine exactly how I do that. I recently started a women’s group for women in the wellness field. This has been a great place for me to seek feedback and support, but due to the nature of our field, there aren’t many people with sales and marketing experience AND mental health experience, so that’s definitely a place of lack for me.
Thanks again for all you do. I think it’s awesome that you are so accessible to people and really appreciate your authenticity 🙂
You have so much wisdom here, Nikolai! Thank you for sharing! I especially love this: “Somebody is always going to have something to say about what you do, or how you do it, but ultimately, it’s important we trust our instincts, surround ourselves with people we trust, and listen to what our client’s needs are.” I totally agree!
I love that you’ve worked through the fear and are looking squarely at your next challenge: HOW to market yourself as an expert and get the word out about what you do.
There’s one misassumption you might be making — namely that you need someone who is both a marketing and sales expert AND a mental health expert. In truth, having someone who is that targeted could hurt you because they can only see through that narrow lens, as opposed to seeing the bigger picture of online and business marketing in ways that work across industries. The *magic* happens when we get out of our narrow niche or industry and learn from others.
This is why Make It Work Online is so powerful. Smart business owners gather to learn and create strong, online business foundations for their unique businesses. The variety of experiences is a big part of what results in such powerful insights and phenomenal results. You only need to know YOUR expertise and YOUR target client, and then I teach you and coach you through the execution of marketing and sales.
I’d love to see you apply, but even if it’s not the right next step for you, keep in mind that you don’t need someone with BOTH of those skills/experiences. You need someone to teach you the right business, marketing, and sales strategies.
I hope this helps!
I’m curious! Did you hear back? What did she say? She’d be crazy not to have you on the show!
I got what is most likely their standard, polite “We’ll be in touch” reply. You can email them and say that I’d be a great guest! (Reminds me of when Ellen Degeneres went through all the hoopla to get on the cover of O Magazine — though I haven’t gone to quite that extreme! 🙂 )
My pitch, in a nutshell, was this: Amy teaches has great content around courses and programs, but probably a large portion of her audience is currently doing what she used to do: consulting. That I could talk about how to build a consulting business so that (1) it doesn’t make you feel thrown around by the whims of crazy clients and (2) it sets you up for big success selling courses and groups. I’m excited to share this with her audience and am crossing my fingers she says YES!
Thanks for sharing this experience Jenny. My gremlin tells me that no one will pay for what I have to say. 🙁
Don’t let that gremlin win, Celeste! Start small, step by step. You can do it!
Seriously Jenny, did you just hear the conversation I had with a friend?!
Your line: “No, you want to do it perfectly. Because if it goes wrong, the whole world might just fall apart and leave your business doomed forever.” was like a transcript from that talk.
Since I’m just about to begin my business journey, my biggest challenge right now is to handle the over all fear of putting myself out there, and the discomfort of not getting things “perfect” (whatever that is…) from the beginning – and to just keep going anyway!
I take your words with me: “You must be okay letting fear be present and not letting fear be in charge of what you do or don’t do.”
Thanks for sharing your story Jenny, and thanks for always being so genuine – it’s such a great help and inspiration.
Hehehe… I’m secretly in all of your heads! (Cuz I say the same stuff to myself!
You don’t have it have it perfect, I promise. If I could only tell you all of the things I did wrong of all of those years when I started (and all of the things I still do wrong…).
Hold onto the truth: That you can be afraid and do the work at the same time. In fact, that’s what you must do.
xo
Haha – I KNEW it!
Thanks Jenny, I’ll absolutely hold on to that. You’re the best!
xo
Hi Jenny, I was blessed enough to find you through the amazing Amber Kuileimailani Bonnici as I am currently working with her for Creative Liberation. I’ve just spent about three hours reading through all of your content. I feel so grateful that women such as yourself are putting this content out there and helping other women. I have that same fear that you explain above, and I am glad to see I am not alone. I read through the 7 steps and got to the part which says to update my website, yes, I think it’s time I move to Word Press. Blogger just doesn’t have enough. I appreciate all of your time and effort. Many thanks to you.
Welcome, Amanda! I’m so glad you found your way here and thank you to Amber for sending you over! I’m so glad you found the content here useful. I get that a lot, people saying, “I found you and read everything! Wow!” So thank you for saying so, and I am excited to continue to support you on your business journey!
Thank you. May your day be blessed with abundance. 🙂