Last week I suggested that you could be lying to yourself about what you really want. Many of you agreed.
Between the comments on the blog and the personal emails I received, you admitted to not being honest with yourself about what you want. You also said you are ready to claim your dreams. Bravo!
But what if you truly don’t know what you want?
I recently learned a new way to find answers to this conundrum.
Martha Beck, in her new book, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, writes about “imagining what wants to happen.” This idea can be applied to situations where you don’t know what you want or aren’t sure what direction to head.
Best of all, it’s quick, simple, and easy to do,
Practical application
Since I love to immediately test what I learn, I applied Martha’s idea in three different ways.
1. Too much to do
First, I tested this concept one busy afternoon. I had a million things to do. They were all high-priority, and I was excited about doing all of them. I couldn’t decide what to tackle next.
I quieted my body and mind. I held space for what wanted to happen.
POOF! Something not on my list came into my awareness: spend the rest of the afternoon cooking. My body deeply relaxed at the thought. I obeyed and skipped working to cook.
The cooking clearly wanted to happen, because I felt better after doing it. The following day I was back in the saddle, calm and focused, churning through the list.
2. Empty of ideas
Second, I applied this idea to a place in my personal life where I was lost.
After relaxing my mind and body, I connected with my surroundings. Then I held the energy of the lost-ness in my body. I asked what wanted to happen.
I got an immediate answer. Pictures flashed through my mind showing me what wants to happen. I was surprised, and I also wasn’t surprised. I knew it was right.
I let go of trying to make it happen.
The next day, ideas and resources began finding their way to me. I was receiving exactly what I needed to move toward what wants to happen.
3. Uncertainty
Finally, I had a partially-formed idea that I have been working on. However, I’ve been unable to refine it to the point of action.
I relaxed my body and mind. I connected with the room I was in. I asked what wanted to happen.
I was shown pictures of how it could play out. The result was like a breath of fresh air; it included exactly the parts I liked and threw out the parts I was wrestling with. It also gave me additional insights, and now I’m almost ready to move on this idea.
Applying the Jenny-ified version
Based on Martha’s approach and my experimentation, this is how I suggest applying this concept.
1. Sit calmly and quietly. Let your thoughts drop away. Breathe deeply. If you meditate, get in that zone. If you don’t meditate, don’t worry about it.
2. Energetically connect with your surroundings. Feel the interconnectedness of everything.
3. Hold the space of not knowing or confusion or whatever it is you’re feeling.
4. Allow your imagination to wander without controlling it. Let it show you a possible outcome or approach.
5. If what you see calls for immediate action, take it. If you don’t see an immediate next step, that’s okay. Know that this is where things are headed and when an opportunity arises to support that outcome, do so.
Feels like magic
Martha calls it magic.
I think she’s right. It certainly feels like it.
What do you think about the idea of imagining what wants to happen? How can you apply this idea in your life and work?
Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Hi Jenny! I tried this because i am the queen of “i dont know what i want” in all aspects of my life these days. It felt like a godsend to see your newsletter! perfect timing!
I tried the Jennified version and it was all smooth sailing up til step 4. I tried it first on an issue that i’ve wanted to know that answer to for some time now, and i just kind of closed up. so then i tried it on something a lot lighter – actually “what wants to happen tonight?” regarding just my evening plans and it was still a bit difficult. i got nothing for a while, just darkness, and then i got something that felt like it was my mind forcing it cause i feel like it something i *should* do, and then i got this total fantasy of something thats just totally impossible. so i dont feel like i got an answer, and i dont feel like the process was smooth and easy for me. do you have any insight or suggestions of what steps to take to *allow* step 4 to happen more easily and naturally?
Best
Toni, Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. Here are a couple of things to consider.
1. The first two steps are very important. You need to get very quiet and still. It can sometimes take 5 minutes or more to get in the zone.
2. If there is any urgency, like “I have to know!!!!” or “I don’t know but I should goddammit!!!” then you will absolutely get stuck in step 4.
3. It takes practice and patience and a willingness to totally suck at it a few times.
I’m an engineer by training and my left brain was well-cultivated as a child. This is a right-brained activity, something that I’ve had to encourage and practice using a lot over the last several years. I’m not saying it will take that long for you or for anyone; I’m merely saying that there’s an element of practice required if this sort of activity is really new to you.
Lastly, is there a part of you that believes, “This won’t work for me”? That can trip you up, too.
As far as your two examples, the forced idea and the fantasy, I can’t speak for sure about if they are real or not. Sometimes what seems like a fantasy could be actually true! Or it could be a metaphor. I find that with practice, I’m able to distinguish between a “brain fart” and something real.
Keep at it. Post more questions. Keep at it. You’ll get there.
Hi Jenny & others who read/replied to my post! First of all, thank you for the response – very supportive and encouraging. i will be trying more of this. second, i’m almost *embarrassed* to write this here cause it doesnt make me look too good, but its SO AMAZING, that i just have to share with you guys.
so that vision i had of what i wanted to happen next, regarding how i would spend my evening, the one that was impossible because there was no way it would happen….well, it happened. I cant even TELL you the shock i was in when i started to see it unfolding. i thought it would be impossible because there really was no way for *me* to make it happen, but it happened on its own through the most CURIOUS and seemingly unrelated series of events. i was in shock. there were of course some slight differences, but the main core of my vision, it came true. it was NUUUUUUUUTSSS. i couldnt believe it even though i was seeing it – and the best part? i didnt even do it. it just did itself. i have no words. i mean if that isnt a sign to stick with it and that this really works, i dont know what is. INSANE.
thank you everybody.
Oh my goodness, Toni! Pure magic.
That’s just about one of the best stories I have ever heard. “It’s impossible” became “it just happened.”
Wow wow wow!
Now imagine what would happen if you kept practicing and allowing impossible things to happen in your life? Watch out!!
Oooh, I just love Toni’s phrase “total fantasy of something totally impossible.” Makes me want to ask which is the *most* impossible part? And the least impossible?
🙂
Good point, Max.
Toni, what is the most possible part about your impossible fantasy?
Or, are you saying it’s not possible but it is possible and it’s really, really scary?
Dear Jenny,
Thanks for your article.
Remember I send you my BRAC-MInder but you never replied using it at all.
In it are the several 20 minute breaks (PWS) times during our waking day
that are exactly asking the body as well as mind that ‘what Wants to Happen’!!!
These are Physiological Rhythms we all seem to disregard.
Please try it and you will find it will work for you perfectly!!!!.
John.
John, I have played with it a little bit. I’ve mostly done it backwards: noticing that I want a break and seeing if I’m in the break cycle. I would agree that those breaks are physiologically what wants to happen, for sure.
This post was more in the context of the big picture of life, but you make a good point about what wants to happen in the given moment 🙂
GENIUS post, Jenny!
I, too, love Martha Beck’s work and especially this new book. I LOVE how you boiled this process down to simple doable steps for us and gave examples from your own life to give us ideas of how we might apply it to our own.
Thank you! 😀
Glad you liked it, Rena! Thanks for being here.
I just love Martha Beck’s columns in O Magazine. Thanks for pointing us to this resource. And I think I can use this practice to decide about something tonight! Would love to get clarity on something so will definitely try it. Thanks!
Let me know how it goes playing with these ideas, Beth. Toni (above) had some awesome results!
I love Martha Beck. She’s a genuine, giving soul with so much to share with the world. If you like her articles in O Magazine, check out her books Steering by Starlight and the new one, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World. They’re like her articles, only longer 🙂
Hi Jenny.
Yesterday I was just wondering how to apply more thorough work on “finding your vision” in a new-years workshop I teach around this time of year, using lots of creativity.
This is totally inspiring. Just the inspiration I needed. I can see how this is a brilliant way of bypassing the brain-process and allowing access to a much wiser source in yourself.
Thanks so much for sharing it and making it so accessable. Plus for your many bright and hands on newsletters. Looking forward to try this out!
Glad it was timed so perfectly for you, Lise. You put it well, “a brilliant way of bypassing the brain-process and allowing access to a much wiser source in yourself.” You’re totally right about it being a much wiser part!